Leena: How are you sleeping?
Artie: I'm not.
Leena: I could tell. Your aura looks like hell.
Artie: Then stop looking at it.
|
Myka: What is it with men and their balls?
Pete: Yeah.
|
Agent Bonnie Belski: Then you get exiled off the reservation into my town, humping my leg.
Pete: It's a nice leg.
|
Agent Bonnie Belski: Banks just hand over the money. Everyone's shy on the details.
Pete: Which is strange.
Agent Bonnie Belski: Tell me something I don't know.
Pete: Uh, Mary, Queen of Scots' croquet mallet was made from a petrified narwhal's horn. She never lost a match.
|
Artie: You know, um, I had a case once where pollen from a prehistoric plant turned a woman into a sexually rapacious sleepwalker. And she was unaware that she was doing that until she, you know, pulled the pants off...
Myka: Artie, uh... just be---be quiet.
|
Myka: What has Agent Belski done for you lately?
Pete: Um... she sashays.
Myka: Yeah.
Pete: A little bit.
Myka: No.
Pete: She doesn't even know it.
Myka: Oh, yes, she does. She does.
|
Myka: Okay, so what are we looking for, Artie? Are we looking for souped-up speakers or Thomas Edison's wax cylinder?
(Artie and Pete laugh)
Pete: Thomas Edison's what?
Artie: Ignore him.
|
Myka: You ever see that movie The Great Santini with the tough dad and the scared kids?
Pete: It's like that, huh?
Myka: Yeah, except it wasn't over in two hours.
|
Myka: You know how when you sing in the shower, and it bounces off the tiles, and you sound spectacular?
Artie: No, I never sound spectacular.
|
Agent Bonnie Belski: How does someone get invited to your party?
Pete: Oh, well... you don't get invited. You get shoved.
|
Myka: There's three suspects, including Fissel. One was a woman.
Pete: You sure?
Myka: Yeah, I... felt her.
Pete: You touched her boobies?
|
Artie: My name... doesn't matter. But I think you know who I represent.
Daniel: Flash Gordon?
|
Myka: Artie, I need you to find my cell phone.
Artie: I'm not your personal cell phone locator, okay?
|
Daniel: How they doing?
Artie: Oh, you know, they're... mostly, they're a pain in my ass.
Daniel: So am I.
|
UK (
Digg
Furl
Del.icio.us
Google