Friedman: You got to forget about Grace, dude.
Luke: But I get these feelings. I know it's a biological reaction--
Friedman: We're not talking biology here. We're talking psychology. You're always throwing yourself against the one gate that's locked. And why? Because you're afraid of going through the gate and enjoy the pleasures of the garden--
Luke: Hey, hey. I'm not afraid of going through the gate.
Friedman: Then why are you always walking right past the one gate that's wide open? And don't tell me you don't know who I'm talking about.
Luke: Glynis?
Friedman: She's wacky for you, dude. When I took her to the dance, all she talked about was you. Extremely annoying but, uh...it's because I was wearing cologne and everything.
Luke: I can't just transfer my feelings from one person to another.
(Luke opens his locker. Friedman gives him a reassuring, motivational pat on the right arm)
Friedman: Of course you can! It's built into our DNA. Did you see the look Glynis gave you in Chem. today? That's a look you usually have to download.
Luke: Okay...I appreciate the rather base concern, but I can take care of my own love life.
Friedman: Right...in the shower.
(Friedman runs off. Glynis grins and waves excitedly at Luke. He waves back politely)
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Adam: Yeah, there are tons of aspiring artists lining up to teach high school.
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Will: What's she doing now?
Luke: She joined the debate team.
Helen: As if she wasn't contrary enough.
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Grace: (to Joan) Um... I don't--I don't really apologize, so um..., this isn't happening, but, uh...
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Computer Girl (God): (eating) Are you pro or con, Joan?
Joan: I'm annoyed. As long as you're asking, can I have a bite of that? I had to skip lunch for this, remember.
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Debate teacher: I would imagine that eloquent oxymoron is one of the reasons you're joining us.
Joan: I'm dying to be an elegant moron.
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Adam: (about going through the metal detectors) I have metal studs on my boxers.
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Grace: Without art to break up your day you're going to get all morose, and morose belongs to me.
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Security Guard (God): "Suck" is a relative term, Joan. Things could be much worse.
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Friedman: So did it hurt getting your naval pierced?
Grace: Dude, don't talk about my naval.
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Joan: Mom, you can't teach at my school – it's like incest or something.
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Joan: Shouldn't you be in the produce section? I always thought God would be a vegetarian.
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Joan: (to Friedman) You are foul.
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Friedman: Eroticism isn't negative, Joan. It's a part of life.
Grace: Not yours.
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Security Guard (God): What, a lively exchange of ideas in search of the truth? Who wouldn't love that?
Joan: Uh, me.
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Will: (to Kevin) You and Rebecca have a date?
Luke: Yeah, she's cooking him dinner.
Kevin: So's Mom, doesn't mean I'm dating her.
Joan: That's a disgusting analogy.
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Will: Oh yeah, that's a date.
Joan: Mom, don't look. The men are leering.
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Helen: Our genius son can't even find the salt!
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Butcher (God): I don't exist because people believe in me. I simply exist, whether people believe in me or not.
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Joan: (referring to Grace) You don't think she is right, do you?
Adam: I usually don't listen to what's going on unless I hear my name.
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Will: Somehow, these days every time we're proud of Joan...it involves chaos.
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Security Guard (God): Do you know what Grace is, Joan?
Joan: Yeah – pissed off!
Security Guard (God): (sighs) Do you know the meaning of "grace?" It is a touch of truth, that let's you see the world in a new way. It's a gift that can only be felt when you are open enough to accept it.
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Grace: Chess, cheerleading, now debate team! There are easier ways to bring pain into your life.
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Joan: And what's in it for you, Grace? Your idea of freedom is a world where everyone agrees with you?
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