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Dharma & Greg :: The Ex-Files (01x05)
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Episode Information |
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| Title: | The Ex-Files |
| Episode #: | 01x05 |
| Production Number: | AE04 |
| Original Airdate: | Wednesday October 22nd, 1997 |
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Episode Summary |
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When Gregs former girlfreind Barbara comes back into town, Dharma tries to set her up with a perfect boyfreind, she doubles her efforts when she discovers that Barbara still has feelings for Greg.
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Guest Stars |
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Episode Quotes |
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Dharma: I can see why you went out with her.
Greg: How -- how did you know that?
Dharma: Oh, Greg, women know these things. It's partly the way she looked at you, and then partly the way you bent your spoon when I asked her to join us.
| Abby: (to Dharma) He thinks the government is listening to us through the V-chip.
Larry: No, no. They're watching us through the V-chip. They're listening to us through the smoke detectors.
Abby: I should have never let him get on the Internet.
| Larry: So, Greg, it must be hard for you Federales to cover up your conspiracies now that all those secret documents are floating out there on the Internet.
Greg: Who do you think puts them on the Internet, Larry?
Larry: Of course. Brilliant.
| Abby: What is the first thing we do to get rid of negative feelings?
Dharma: I already did all that. I said, "Hello, jealousy. I embrace and acknowledge the message you are bringing me."
Abby: Good. And what did jealousy say?
Dharma: He just looked right at me and went pththththth!
| Larry: So, Ed, how goes the exploitation of the working classes?
Edward: It's actually ahead of schedule.
| Abby: (searching in her large bag) It's, uh -- it's in here somewhere.
Kitty: I'm sure it is, along with the Holy Grail and the Lindbergh baby.
| Dharma: (about Greg's ex-girlfriend) She's perfect for you.
Greg: Fine. Dharma, it doesn't matter if there's somebody out there who, on paper, is perfect for me, because I love you.
Dharma: Yeah, well, a dog can love a chicken. But eventually he's gonna want another dog, 'cause chickens don't chase cars, and all the love in the world won't change that
| Pete: Say, there's your wife talking to your ex-girlfriend.
Greg: This can't be good.
Pete: Gee, I wonder if your name's come up?
| Dharma: (to Barbara) Take Pete, here. A handsome young attorney on the fast track. Say something, Pete.
Pete: (to Barbara) My apartment is completely soundproofed.
(Barbara makes a face at Dharma)
Dharma: Okay, let's go hit on these guys over here. (She and Barbara leave)
Greg: Has that line ever worked?
Pete: No. But when it does, it's gonna be worth it.
| Sid: I'm Sid.
Dharma: Hi, Sid.
Sid: Actually, it's Siddhartha.
Dharma: Ooh. Parents hippies?
Sid: Yeah. Grew up in a genuine commune.
Dharma: Shut up! Me too! Well, until my dad found this Indian tribe that was taking on new members.
Sid: Did you get an Indian name?
Dharma: Yeah. "Crazy Man's Daughter".
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