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Tuesday, January 22nd 2008 4:40 pm |
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| » Drawing the line between self preservation and integrity |
When do you draw the line between integrity and self preservation? It's so easy to say "never compromise your integrity" when it is only your fate on the line. You know you are doing the right thing by keeping the fate of your family in mind when put your head down and say nothing, but how do you get rid of the shame and the guilt?
Let me explain.
I have worked 2nd and third shift jobs for over 6 years now. I made the choice 4 months after the birth of my son that I would do everything that I could to be there for him. I didn't want to hand him over to expensive child care, where another woman would raise my child, but I needed to work. So the next best thing was to work out a schedule with his father so that one of us would always be with him. It was a sacrifice I was willing to make and one I have never regretted.
Over three years ago I started to work for my present company. At first I loved my job. Sure I had more then my share of dealing with idiots and rednecks, but it wasn't all that bad. With a sense of humor they were easy to deal with. I really didn't mind.
Then the head of my department left for a different company.
The head of the neighboring department took over. At first nothing changed, but we realized later this was due to our hardworking supervisor keeping her honest. Our supervisor could only take so much of her before she finally quit. Our manager actively persecuted her before she left. Our manager is white. Our supervisor was black.
Since our supervisor left, things have been getting progressively worse. Our manager listens to our conversations when we are off calls. She has taken away our internet access. That is just the beginning.
There are also strong rumors that she did an independent background check on everyone in the call center. She has our social security numbers, she could do anything.
That actually isn't even the worst part. Our manager is also a racist. She has been actively seeking out getting everyone in the call center who is a minority fired. This includes two Hispanic women, a black man, a gay man, a white woman who has a mixed son and a white woman who married a Muslim. Every one of the new hires is white. This makes me sick.
Meanwhile, me, the white woman who is engaged to a white man with a white child might actually finally be able to work a day shift that she can swing. Finally, after 6 years, be able to work a shift that has me at home nights with my family and that will better for my health. Part of my problem with the migraines is the fact that I never have the chance to sleep a regular 8 hours.
So I feel like complete crap.
I'm conflicted. I finally may be getting the shift I've been longing for, but at what cost? This bothers me more then you can possibly imagine. I just don't know what to do anymore. My paycheck covers the rent and all our bills, not to mention the medical coverage handles the treatment for my migraines. Sure I could find another job but there are no guarantees.
I hate this.
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| Reactions (11) |
 REK-CAF
Posts: 3516
Contrib Points: 1604.7
Since: 14/Dec/07
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| Posted By On Tuesday, January 22nd 2008 6:22 pm |
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| That really sucks. I've been in a rut myself since like October with my friends, school, family, adn other things. It sucks when it seems liek things aren't going to get any better. Just hang in there. I really hope thigns improve for ya. |
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KingJohn23
Posts: 3323
Contrib Points: 5747.5
Since: 08/Dec/05
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| Posted By On Tuesday, January 22nd 2008 6:48 pm |
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| Quote: | | That actually isn't even the worst part. Our manager is also a racist. She has been actively seeking out getting everyone in the call center who is a minority fired. This includes two Hispanic women, a black man, a gay man, a white woman who has a mixed son and a white woman who married a Muslim. Every one of the new hires is white. This makes me sick. |
It makes me sick too.
If I were your manager, I would base work on merit, and not on skin color or even religion. Yes, even religion.
My own father is a racist, and hearing him talk about how America would be better if all the blacks went back to Africa and that the "fags" are taking over leaves my ears ringing and my face red. I would never follow that. I've hated that school of thought since grammar school.
You're welcome to think what you want, I don't expect anything I say to convince you. This is for the record. I have disdain for a particular religion, not all Arabs. I have disdain for the choice to be gay, but not all gays. I have disdain for liberal ideas, not all liberals. I don't see how this does not make sense.
Good day. |
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nishikaze
Posts: 6769
Contrib Points: 1155.7
Since: 29/Jan/06
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| Posted By On Tuesday, January 22nd 2008 8:25 pm |
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Did I mention it's getting to the point that I don't even know who to trust there anymore. A man I sat next to, who trained me and is generally a very nice guy, is taking everything we say to our Manager. He might be promoted to supervisor. Not to mention a friend of the family works upstairs with the Techs who went into our personal e-mail accounts!
I could really use some support right now, but I don't know who or where to turn. In addition, since I have in the past posted on this site while I was at work, I might very well get in trouble for this blog. They track everywhere we go while at work. |
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Me
Posts: 21637
Contrib Points: 132315.8
Since: 01/Dec/05
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| Posted By On Wednesday, January 23rd 2008 6:49 am |
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As KingJohn said, my father too is a racist. He is an exact copy of Archie Bunker, which has made me Meathead...wait, that doesn't sound right. but I too have been insanely embarrassed by his actions throughout my life. He recently put his foot in his mouth again when my cousin and her husband came for a visit from Maine. They were talking about Baltimore for some reason and mentioned how the blacks have ruined the city and taken it over. Little did he know that my cousin's husband is from Baltimore. You could here crickets chirp from the silence after that was said.
But Kerry, you need to do like my mother did when she was working in an office. She had 2 coworkers whom she couldn't trust either. She learned to speak carefully and not reveal anything that could come back and bite her in the ass. Although it would be nice to work in a place where everyone is your friend, people have too many different personalities for that to happen. It's just like here at Rage. We can work fine with each other as long as we all show common respect. We don't need to like everyone, just tolerate them. But if you feel you can't trust the people, you can start looking for another job...just make sure no one, and I mean no one knows that you are doing so. Then when you find a new job you can tell them all what you think of them. That could be fun. |
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nishikaze
Posts: 6769
Contrib Points: 1155.7
Since: 29/Jan/06
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| Posted By On Wednesday, January 23rd 2008 11:24 am |
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I grew up the exact opposite. My mother's best friend from the first grade on up was a black girl. They went to school together back in the 60's! There were racial riots in their high school, but they were so close they called each other sisters.
My Aunt Ruthie helped my mother through her divorce, opened up her home to us when we had no where to go. She helped raise me. Her family is my family.
My son's Godmother is black. Racism and bigotry has always infuriated me. Which is why it is so hard for me to bite my tongue.
But that really isn't the entire issue.
My job has become so uncomfortable it is getting impossible to work there. I like all my co-workers. The people who man the phones with me are great! But my boss is on a power-mad high. She's out of control.
My fiance said the same thing as you Chris. Find another job and let them have it on my way out. (And to talk to his father who works for lawyers.) |
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Me
Posts: 21637
Contrib Points: 132315.8
Since: 01/Dec/05
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| Posted By On Wednesday, January 23rd 2008 1:14 pm |
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| Nishi Wrote: | | My fiance said the same thing as you Chris. |
We Chris' think alike  |
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nishikaze
Posts: 6769
Contrib Points: 1155.7
Since: 29/Jan/06
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| Posted By On Wednesday, January 23rd 2008 1:29 pm |
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| Quote: | | We Chris' think alike |
Close... Our son's name is Chris.  |
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Me
Posts: 21637
Contrib Points: 132315.8
Since: 01/Dec/05
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| Posted By On Wednesday, January 23rd 2008 2:53 pm |
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Why did I think both of their names were Chris  I feel so...daft.  |
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nishikaze
Posts: 6769
Contrib Points: 1155.7
Since: 29/Jan/06
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| Posted By On Thursday, January 24th 2008 12:25 pm |
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My former boss's name was Chris.
If it makes you feel better, I really like the name.   |
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danharr
Posts: 819
Contrib Points: 530.5
Since: 03/Apr/06
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| Posted By On Saturday, January 26th 2008 10:41 pm |
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| Good thing about call center experience is you can take it anywhere. So if you want you can find a new start I went from an att dsl outsource tech to making twice as much at verizon wireless so it's do-able. I say work is hard enough without all the conflict on your mind and soul leave and sue imo. |
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Piggie8
Posts: 6562
Contrib Points: 2569.9
Since: 09/Apr/06
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| Posted By On Sunday, January 27th 2008 8:37 pm |
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| I drew it between the 3rd and 4th inch line. |
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