Weekly Fang Girls: Allyson & Kelly’s ‘The Vampire Diaries’ Bite

Hello, and welcome, to our suck-ulent weekly feature surrounding one of our favorite vamp-tastic shows: ‘The Vampire Diaries’! We can’t get enough of vampire shows involving insanely attractive people, and can you really blame us?

So, if you’re a ‘TVD’ fan and are obsessed with the bloody good show, then be sure to join us weekly, where we’ll not only provide a roundup of every episode, but also break down what each Mystic Falls character is up to that week. Like, why can’t Jeremy be shirtless in every episode? Or, are all vampires/werewolves/hybrids/witches beautiful creatures?

Sit back, relax, and get your vervaine and blood bags ready for our weekly ‘TVD’ installment. Warning: spoilers follow, so if you have yet to tune into this week’s episode, "The Cell," get running like a vampire’s hunting you.

Elena:
-I was very pleased that Elena noticed Damon’s absence so quickly. I’ve been getting concerned about this girl’s priorities lately. Though, I could definitely do without her constant contest with Aaron about who’s lost more loved ones. (I think after tonight we can all safely agree that Aaron totally wins on that front.)
-I have to admit, I definitely felt sorry for Elena when she realized that her dad/uncle, Grayson Gilbert, was part of the whole vampire-torture tradition. Discovering that loved ones are not who you thought they were has got to be THE WORST feeling ever. (You know, aside from the pain of actual torture.)
-Anyone else feeling a little nervous about Team Delena? She did not look happy to learn of his little Whitmore murder-revenge plan, especially since he was still carrying it out three months ago.
-But Elena’s got bigger problems on her hands these days. Like the fact that she’s on a lab table in restraints right next to Damon’s ex-buddy Enzo. Looks like Elena’s about to get inducted into the Vampire Torture Club, which I definitely don’t think is listed on the college brochure.

Damon:
-This episode was amazing. Why? Because it mainly focused on Damon in the present and in the ‘50s, the five years he was tortured by Dr. Whitmore (who was played by ‘One Life to Live’s Trevor St. John) and his friendship with Enzo aka my new favorite character. Have you heard that accent?
-Did anyone else freak out a little when Dr. Whitmore was messing with Damon’s eyes? You don’t mess with Damon’s eyes! Thank goodness they’re still as beautiful as ever. Oh, and speaking of Damon’s body, I agree with him wholeheartedly: his amazing body has nothing to do with science.
-Once again, I have to mention Damon’s one-liners, including “Most people would buy me dinner first.”; “Great. Mini Wes.”; and “Slick hands, cowboy.”
-Last, but not least, is anyone else Team Damon and his revenge plan on the Whitmore family? Yes, it’s sad he killed Aaron’s parents, but Damon was tortured for five years. I will forever have a soft spot for this Salvatore -- and I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one.

Stefan:
-It’s never easy being a Salvatore brother, but Stefan has really gotten the short end of the stick these days, which made that hot and heavy makeout scene with Katherine all the more sweeter. (Seriously could not love this relationship more right now!) REWIND!
-Anyone else’s heart break a little bit when the true cause of Stefan’s PTSD was revealed: the fact that Elena chose Damon over him. The poor guy has been both literally and figuratively throwing his feelings into a safe, so to see them all come flooding out at last was completely gut-wrenching. Well done, Paul Wesley!
-Sorry, all this talk about it is forcing me to go back and watch that kissing scene again. BRB.

Caroline:
-There wasn’t nearly enough Caroline in this episode, but I’ll take what I can get, especially if she scored several scenes with Stefan. Oh, and a huge thanks to Katherine for asking Caroline if she’s ever had sex with Stefan.
-Even if she is a drama major and doesn’t know anything about PTSD, it doesn’t get better than Caroline helping Stefan with his PTSD. As she told him, “I’m your sober sponsor.” How nice was it of her to sanitize the safe? She’s always thinking!
-Let me just say I called it that Caroline would hold a grudge against Elena for killing Jesse. How long do you think she’ll hold onto that one?
-One of the best parts of this episode? Caroline overhearing Stefan and Katherine getting it on. Nothing like a little vampire/human sex to creep you out.

Katherine:
-Katherine as a journalist: not very promising. Katherine as a therapist: two thumbs up! Since there’s always so much focus between Stefan and Elena, it’s easy to overlook the fact that Katherine has known this broody vamp way longer and probably knows him almost as well as Damon -- maybe even more so (woman’s intuition and all that). Way to use that hero complex of his against him, Ms. Pierce!
-Also, that makeout scene together seriously helped make up for the fact that both Jeremy and Bonnie were MIA the entire episode. (We’re all in agreement that those two were totally getting it on the entire episode, right? Because that’s the only excuse I’m willing to accept.)
-Have I mentioned how much I enjoy the whole concept of Caroline and Katherine teaming up together to save Stefan? Because I do. I really, really do. More of this, please!

Enzo:
-As I said above, Enzo is my new favorite vampire addition to the ‘TVD’ family. Yes, that accent is amazing, but his mysteriousness and friendship with Damon (he helped Damon hang onto his humanity for all those years!) can make anyone swoon.
-So, who is Enzo? Before being locked up in the Whitmore house for 10 years and becoming Damon’s fellow cellmate, he was a soldier in Europe during WWII.
-It amazes me how quickly ‘TVD’ can get me attached to a character. How bad did you feel when Damon left his friend in the cell to die? Ugh. Heartbreaking!
-Yes, at the end, I was ecstatic to see Enzo alive and kicking (well, not really kicking since he was strapped to a lab table next to Elena). Has he been tortured all these years since Damon left him? Can he be trusted? Will he or won’t he be happy to see Damon? I’m going with the latter.

Be sure to come back next week for another installment of 'Weekly Fang Girls,' and definitely don't miss 'The Vampire Diaries' every Thursday at 8/7c on The CW.

-Written by Allyson Koerner (Damon, Caroline, Enzo) and Kelly Schremph (Elena, Stefan, Katherine)