Weekly Fang Girls: Allyson & Kelly’s ‘The Vampire Diaries’ Bite

Hello, and welcome, to our suck-ulent weekly feature surrounding one of our favorite vamp-tastic shows: ‘The Vampire Diaries’! We can’t get enough of vampire shows involving insanely attractive people, and can you really blame us?

So, if you’re a ‘TVD’ fan and are obsessed with the bloody good show, then be sure to join us weekly, where we’ll not only provide a roundup of every episode, but also break down what each Mystic Falls character is up to that week. Like, why can’t Jeremy be shirtless in every episode? Or, are all vampires/werewolves/hybrids/witches beautiful creatures?

Sit back, relax, and get your vervaine and blood bags ready for our weekly ‘TVD’ installment. Warning: spoilers follow, so if you have yet to tune into this week’s episode, "Death and the Maiden," get running like a vampire’s hunting you.

Elena:
-Once again, Nina Dobrev did a superb job of differentiating each of her 5 million characters that she plays (okay, I may be exaggerating a bit...it’s more like 2 million). She makes them all so different and memorable, even if we’ve only known them for two episodes. (RIP Crazy Pants. We miss you already!)
-Elena to Stefan: “You know me more than anyone else.” Really? You’re going to play that card right in front of Damon? She obviously needs to relisten to this little Backstreet Boys number.
-Question: since Amara was the original doppelganger, does this mean the whole doppel-line ends with Elena now that Silas and Amara are no longer immortal beings? If that’s the case, I feel I didn’t get enough time to properly enjoy doppelgangerpalooza.

Damon:
-Despite some awkward and tense moments, who doesn’t love when Damon and Stefan sit down to rehash old memories?
-Yes, Damon still referred to Amara as “crazy pants,” but he also added “nutter butter” into the mix. It’s just too hard to pick a favorite. This guy’s full of fab nicknames.
-Damon will always go above and beyond to make Elena happy, like seeking out Qetsiyah to make a deal to save Bonnie. Boyfriend of the year?
-Oh, and can we also applaud Damon for referencing Tom Hanks’ ‘Cast Away’? Bravo, Damon!

Stefan:
-Stefan talking about Silas keeping his promises: “I wouldn’t hold your breath. Pun intended.” Sarcastic Stefan is one of my favorites!
-Let’s all rejoice in the fact that Stefan is picking up the wifebeater slack this episode. All of the guys were wearing far too many layers (i.e. any shirt at all).
-When he told Elena that she puts her hopes in the wrong places and sometimes the wrong people, was that supposed to be a dig at Damon? Either way, I feel some serious brotherly bonding is in order.
-The part where Stefan admitted how much he’d wanted Elena and Damon to be the ones who found him when the safe opened was absolutely heartbreaking. In fact, I no longer even have a heart because it is completely shattered. Thanks, Paul Wesley.
-Stefan is suffering from a serious case of PTSD and I’m very concerned. Where is Matt and his amazing hugs when you need them?

Jeremy:
-Any sane person (with a heart) would melt if Jeremy told them the three things he told Bonnie this episode. 1. This isn’t a goodbye, and I’ll always be here. 2. Thank you for giving your life up for me. 3. I love you. This is one Gilbert I never get sick of.
-Like pretty much everyone else on the show, Jeremy had a winning one-liner when referring to Amara aka Elena and Katherine’s doppelganger (or is it tripleganger?): “How’s our mental patient doing?”
-Let’s all rejoice that Jeremy and Bonnie can now feel one another! It’s about time these two have some happiness.

Bonnie:
-So, how crazy was it when Jeremy discovered Amara could see Bonnie? Thank goodness, or Bonnie never would have had the idea to turn herself into the anchor. She is one smart witch.
-Bonnie is back, witches! Well, technically she’s a “human tollbooth” who exists on both sides of the supernatural veil, but at least everyone can see her, and most importantly, Jeremy and her can touch. Woot woot!
-As always, all magic comes with a price. How long can Bonnie handle the pain of EVERY supernatural being passing through her to get to the other side? I don’t think Ibuprofen is going to help. Someone get Bonnie a strong magical cure, stat!

Caroline:
-Anyone else a little disappointed in the lack of Caroline scenes this season? I need way more than this, you guys! She might as well be in New Orleans (though I’m not opposed to that idea).
-Her expression upon realizing that Nadia is, in fact, Katherine’s daughter: priceless.
-It was sort of hilarious how Caroline’s main responsibility this episode was to deliver Katherine to casa de doppelganger. Let’s hope they tipped her for the fast service.
-Seeing the girls reunite with Bonnie was so heartwarming. Even happy tears from Caroline make me weep. And she’s already thinking about how they can all now be roommates. Typical Caroline. Group hugs all around!

Katherine:
-A doppelganger’s problems are never over. And now it looks like Katherine’s got some sort of reverse ‘Curious Case of Benjamin Button’ thing going on since she’s starting to age at a rapid rate now that the cure is out of her system. She has mere months to live. But if anyone can figure a way out of this mess, it’s Katherine Pierce. Too bad we found out taking the cure makes you unable to be healed by vampire blood.
-Katherine arriving at the Salvatore mansion: “The cute one’s here.” Classic.
-Any guesses as to why Katherine decided to push Nadia away? Is it because she knows she knows she’s dying and doesn’t want to cause her daughter any suffering, or is she just a terrible mother? With Katherine, you can never be quite sure.

Silas:
-Any time I have a chance to praise Paul Wesley, I will. Who else thinks he deserves an award for portraying Silas? That bus stop talk was brilliant, especially when he said, “I love love” and “Love is so damn fickle.” Wesley is one brilliant man.
-That bus ride did Silas wonders. After all, he did learn that secretaries are now called administrative assistants. I’m thinking a spin-off with Silas on a bus? Yes?
-From Silas almost killing Qetsiyah and telling her, “hateful vengeance is for people without real love,” to him almost killing his one true love Amara to him dying, thanks to Stefan, this was one intense episode.
-So, Silas isn’t really dead, right? First, it seems too easy. Second, I want more Paul Wesley as Silas!

Qetsiyah/Tessa:
-I think Qetsiyah is the only person who wishes Damon was Chinese food. Has she seen his beautifulness?
-Admittedly, I would have liked to see a grander reunion between Qetsiyah and Amara, but hearing Qetsiyah say, “you’re the face that launched a 1,000 doppelgangers,” was pretty satisfying. Oh, and Qetsiyah did manage to fulfill her ultimate plan.
-In addition to Silas and Amara dying, Qetsiyah died. What?! Like Silas, I wasn’t ready for this crazy 2,000-year-old witch to say her farewell. At least her one wish was granted aka being reunited with Silas on the other side. As she said, “True love prevails. Universe be damned.”
-I’m pretty sure Qetsiyah summed it up best for what Bonnie will feel every time a supernatural being passes through her. Not only will she feel their deaths, but it will also “hurt like a bitch.”

Be sure to come back next week for another installment of 'Weekly Fang Girls,' and definitely don't miss 'The Vampire Diaries' every Thursday at 8/7c on The CW.

-Written by Allyson Koerner (Damon, Jeremy, Bonnie, Silas, Qetsiyah/Tessa) and Kelly Schremph (Elena, Stefan, Caroline, Katherine)