Weekly Fang Girls: Allyson & Kelly’s ‘The Vampire Diaries’ Bite

Hello, and welcome, to our suck-ulent weekly feature surrounding one of our favorite vamp-tastic shows: ‘The Vampire Diaries’! We can’t get enough of vampire shows involving insanely attractive people, and can you really blame us?

So, if you’re a ‘TVD’ fan and are obsessed with the bloody good show, then be sure to join us weekly, where we’ll not only provide a roundup of every episode, but also break down what each Mystic Falls character is up to that week. Like, why can’t Jeremy be shirtless in every episode? Or, are all vampires/werewolves/hybrids/witches beautiful creatures?

Sit back, relax, and get your vervaine and blood bags ready for our weekly ‘TVD’ installment. Warning: spoilers follow, so if you have yet to tune into this week’s episode, "Monster’s Ball," get running like a vampire’s hunting you.

Elena:
-Thank you, Elena, for establishing the reason behind the show’s name by once again writing in your diary. I guess she needed to, since Stefan destroyed all of his last week.
-I don’t care if you are super busy trying to get to the bottom of Megan’s death, it is NOT okay to ignore Damon’s call and decline a dance with him. No excuses!
-We were introduced to Aaron this week, who is practically Elena in guy form. He’s lost everyone he loves and suffers from a major case of survivor’s guilt. The impending friendship pretty much writes itself. (And, of course, he’s super hot. A main requirement of ‘TVD.’)
-Note to all college professors: dancing with ANY student, even if they don’t take your classes, is still very inappropriate. Though, I must admit Dr. Maxfield is very easy on the eyes.

Damon:
-Altogether now: poor Damon! When is Elena going to stop pushing him away and flirting with professors (or, as Damon called him, Professor Blondie) and random college boys? I don’t care if she feels guilty about Bonnie. Damon, any girl would be lucky to have you.
-Here’s our weekly Damon line of the week, which he said to Silas: “Why do you suck so bad at killing yourself?”
-How sweet was it of Damon to come up with that epic plan to bring back Bonnie aka Elena’s best friend? He even “sacrificed” Katherine to get the job done. Talk about a good boyfriend.
-So, did we love or hate the game of “snap your brother’s neck” between Damon and Stefan?

Stefan:
-I think we can all agree that Stefan was definitely rocking that whole James Dean look at the Whitmore Historical Ball. Let’s hope that’s not the last time we see that jacket.
-Stefan’s really having a rough time this season what with the drowning, the memory loss, and this week’s unlimited round of neck-snapping, courtesy of Damon. Good thing vampires don’t need health insurance.
-Do you think Stefan got his memory back during that brief period of time Silas was a desiccated corpse? I mean, that’s gotta be the equivalent to a neck-snap, so it should work both ways, right? Are they still linked even after Silas consumed the cure? Please discuss!

Caroline:
-Of course Caroline was all over this Whitmore Historical Ball. Vampire or not, themed parties are this girl’s bread and butter. Also, she made an adorable Bonnie. (Do you think she chose to be her as a tribute to recently deceased Bonnie?)
-Caroline had some great lines this week. Apart from calling Tyler a “hybrid-sized jerk” for being so MIA this season, she delivered this heartbreaking little beauty when Tyler expressed his plans to exact revenge on Klaus: “Love me more than you hate him.” I got chills.
-Fact: Caroline crying is one of the saddest things to witness in the world. But now that she’s officially single, is it too soon to suggest paying Klaus a visit?

Jeremy:
-Despite not basking in the glory of Jeremy’s abs and biceps, we did get the chance to stare at the beauty that is his face.
-Unfortunately, Jeremy wasn’t the center of this week’s episode, but we did see a great moment between him and Bonnie. For example, when he told her,” What is worse than seeing and hearing you and not being able to feel you?” These two need to be reunited, stat!
-From now on, I will refer to Jeremy as Bonnie’s “witch translator.” That is all.

Bonnie:
-Like Jeremy, Bonnie was a little MIA this week, but at least her friends are attempting to bring her back from the dead.
-Thanks to Bonnie’s witchy intelligence, she was able to figure out that Qetsiyah created an anchor to form the other side. This show is full of complicated supernatural goodness.

Tyler:
-So, it’s official that Tyler is now one of the worst boyfriends ever. I can understand the need to seek vengeance for his mother’s death, but he has left Caroline SO many times for one reason or another. Not cool.
-Now that he’s off to find Klaus, does this mean we should expect to see him pop up on ‘The Originals’? Boy will he be in for a few surprises. (I’m looking at you, Hayley!)
-At least we all got a quick look at Tyler without a shirt on, I hear it’s really hot down in the Bayou.

Katherine:
-How could Katherine just assume that Silas wouldn’t need all of her blood for that whole cure thing to work? It’s almost like she hasn’t been watching this show. She was basically Season 2 Elena.
-Nadia is Katherine’s daughter! I REPEAT, Nadia is Katherine’s daughter!!! Did not see that one coming. Thinking of Katherine in any kind of motherly capacity just seems so crazy. I’m interested to see where this will go.
-OMG, they killed Katherine...or not? How does she still have a heartbeat after being drained by Silas? Had she consumed some of Nadia’s blood beforehand just in case someone tried to kill her? I tend to doubt it since, she seemed genuinely worried about dying. She can’t be the mystical anchor since she wasn’t around that far back, right? Maybe Silas didn’t need ALL of her blood. Either way, this girl is one tough cookie, and I’m glad she’s still with us.

Silas:
-I know I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again, Paul Wesley is a genius at playing psycho supernatural killer Silas, especially when he showcases his selfish side. Give me more of that!
-Silas and Damon working together? I kinda loved it, especially when Damon has ulterior motives. Also, it’s good to know that when Stefan is dead, Silas’ psychic skills return. Someone write that down, before Qetsiyah erases your memory.
-Anyone else enjoy Silas as Stefan as James Dean? What about him messing with Qetsiyah? Their love/hate relationship is just what TVD fans ordered, even if Qetsiyah does manage to dessicate Silas every now and again.

Qetsiyah/Tessa:
-If anyone can pull off Cleopatra at Halloween, it’s Qetsiyah.
-Who would have thought that this 2,000-year-old witch would love tequila and bacon? At least we now know what to get her first Christmas, if she survives that long.
-Not only is Qetsiyah one powerful witch, but she also possesses a power-enhancing pendant that will help her find the mysterious anchor, which the travellers repeatedly hide to keep out of her hands. Can’t anything ever be easy? Really what fun would that be?
-Who else got chills when Qetsiyah called Silas a “cold, gray, hideous monster”? These two lovebirds are the best.

Be sure to come back next week for another installment of 'Weekly Fang Girls,' and definitely don't miss 'The Vampire Diaries' every Thursday at 8/7c on The CW.

-Written by Allyson Koerner (Damon, Jeremy, Bonnie, Silas, Qetsiyah/Tessa) and Kelly Schremph (Elena, Stefan,Caroline, Tyler, Katherine)