Narrator: Digging to Arabia would be easy. Head to the center of the earth, then turn right.
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Ned: My not-scowl is an expression of not understanding why anyone would want to go rooting around in their past. After all that shoveling you still wake up in the same bed, do the same job, live the same life. Except now you're grimy. With a kink in your back.
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(Olive hiring Emerson)
Emerson: What got thee to a nunnery?
Olive: Oh, Emerson. You really want to know?
Emerson: Not especially. That was just my attempt at polite wee talk. Moment's passed, so let's talk compensation.
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Narrator: What she didn't know was a world-weary detective with a missing daughter needed all the prayers he could get.
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Olive: Why'd you bring him here when you said you wouldn't?
Emerson: I need Pie-Boy's special skill set and Pie-Girl comes with Pie-Boy.
Olive: Why isn't Pie-Girl minding the Pie-Hole?
Emerson: Because she's rather be minding his. Besides, he hired a new waitress. Brandy. Candy. I don't know. Somebody named after booze or food...
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Father Ed: We had assumed you'd be Italian.
Emerson: We are... Italian.
Ned: Part-time.
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Ned: Nun on the run! Nun on the run! Nun on the run!
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Olive: There are Commandments! We follow all ten, and I am commanding you to stop!
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Chuck: If Mother Superior found Larue’s shiny stash…
Ned: Then all it would take was one push, and the convent would be back… in black.
Chuck: By-proxy high-five.
Emerson: Get, before I by-proxy vomit.
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Chuck: I don't really dwell on it. But unexpectedly I'll think of her... and then more specifically this hole in my heart where a mother should be. I didn't know her and I never will.
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Emerson: Rule Number One: don’t buy fish on Monday. Rule Number Two: Don’t poke an angry German.
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Narrator: Charlotte Charles knew a great deal about removing tarnish, for she had spent countless hours polishing her aunts' stockpile of copper, brass, and bronze cheese knives.
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