Narrator: The Pie Maker had grown accustomed to the feeling his heart made when it looked out his eyes and saw her sleeping in the next bed.
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Emerson: You know how to knock?
Georgeann Heaps: I did knock. I came in, I said to myself, “I hope this good man can help me, knock wood,” and then I knocked.
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Chuck: You didn’t sleep well.
Ned: It was deep and perfect, like a nap in the backseat of a car after a day at the beach.
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Emerson: That thing should have said, “If this van’s a-rockin’, I’m being murdered.”
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Ned: Emerson needs me.
Chuck: Why? There’s no dead body to wake up.
Emerson: Nice. Anyone not hear that?
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Pierre: But remember, there are two things clowns make around here. Balloon animals and enemies.
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Olive: Oh, hey, sister! Want a chapel buddy?
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Ned: I promise I’ll let you come next time.
Chuck: Thank you for your permission.
Ned: You don’t need my permission.
Chuck: Thank you for the permission not to need your permission.
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Ned: Where can we find these clowns?
Bailey: Drunk in a ditch would be my guess. They usually stumble in just before showtime, and they always travel in a pack.
Ned: Like wolves.
Bailey: More like cigarettes.
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Narrator: In less than 16 seconds, the dead girl who was not dead would be involved in the smallest of ironic coincidences. For just as she said to herself…
Chuck: I wish I were where the action were at.
Narrator: …she was where it were at.
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Ned: It’s hard enough being in a relationship where we can’t touch. But… we improvise, figured out ways around that. I’ve even built contraptions.
Emerson: Do you understand how a head works? Do you? Because very time you say something I got to think it. You say “Monkey in a bellhop suit driving a car,” I think “Monkey in a bellhop suit driving a car.” Don’t tell me what you all do together.
Ned: There’s a weird mask.
Emerson: Please, now I’m begging you to stop this.
Ned: No, there’s a weird clown mask back there in the bushes.
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Ned: Why the change of heart about Nikki?
Emerson: I guess my glass is half full on this one.
Ned: Generally speaking, I would say you don’t even have a glass. You just have a wet ring on the coffee table where the glass used to be.
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Narrator: Olive and Lily ate the morning porridge and wondered if the truffle-hunting pig might be retrained to hunt for a packet of sugar.
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Ned: How do we make it work? I knew the caterpillar, but maybe it’s time for you to become the butterfly.
Emerson: You did not just say that.
Ned: Did not know you were there.
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Ned: My name is Ned. I live a simple life. I wake pies and make the dead. That was creepy. I make pies and wake the dead.
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