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Monk :: Mr. Monk and the Lady Next Door (07x12)
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Episode Information |
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| Title: | Mr. Monk and the Lady Next Door |
| Episode #: | 07x12 |
| Original Airdate: | Friday January 23rd, 2009 |
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A security guard is patrolling the Guinness World Book Museum and finds an intruder. The man informs him that the guard should have been sleeping if he’d stayed to his usual schedule and attacks him. They bump into a fuse box and the exhibits come to life. Finally the intruder knocks the guard over a ledge and onto a mounted swordfish, impaling him.

Monk and Natalie are walking to the police station to collect Monk’s checks but have come to a broken walk sign. Monk refuses to cross until it says “Walk.” Natalie finally goes on without him and an older woman, Marge Johnson, comes up from grocery shopping. She doesn’t plan to wait a half hour like Monk does, and suggests that he be a pirate: they have more fun. Marge takes him by the hand and leads him across the street, and an oddly pleased Monk offers to take her groceries. They go on to the police station where Stottlemeyer says they know Marge: she complains regularly about her next door neighbor John Keyes, who plays the drums at all hours of the night and keeps her awake. Monk tells Marge to call him anytime that she needs help dealing with Keyes.

Stottlemeyer and his men investigate the security guard’s death at the museum and Natalie is happy to hear that Monk has a friend. Theft doesn’t appear to be the motive: no money was stolen. However, Disher spots a missing robot, representing the world’s greatest egg-eating man. The lieutenant suspects the robot came to life and possibly killed the guard, then escaped on its own. Monk sees tire tracks and small puddles of hydraulic fluid, and concludes that one man stole the robot using the cart. He also notices that the exhibit sign has been recently updated and the curator explains that a rival egg-eater broke in two months early and defaced the robot. Monk is called away when Marge calls to ask him for help: her neighbor Keyes is playing the drums again.

Monk confronts Keyes, unaware that he is the murderer at the museum. Keyes backs down once he learns that Monk is a police officer (“more or less”). Marge thanks him and invites him inside her house for lunch. He notices that she wrote a cookbook a few years ago and Marge talks about how her sister said she was too old to do it. Monk notices her piano and Marge explains she only knows one song, and plays it once a year on the birthday of her dead husband. He notices of a young child with a birthmark on his left cheek and Marge explains she had a son, Pauly, who died when he was three, and who would be Monk’s age now. They sit down to eat and Monk is surprised to realize that he didn’t obsessively wash his hands. They eat and Marge helps Monk to overcome some of his OCD, encouraging him to eat his mixed vegetables mixed together.

Stottlemeyer and Disher go to see the jealous egg-eater, Winston Kasinsky. He and his overly supportive wife Gloria live in a home filled with chicken and egg memorabilia and trophies to Winston’s prowess. Winston says he’s over his anger about his rival egg eater and preparing to break the record. However, he has an alibi: he was at an all-you-can eat chicken buffet at the time of the murder. When Stottlemeyer doubts if he can eat 80 eggs in six minutes, Winston is more than glad to demonstrate.

That night, a masked thief breaks into a jewelry store and tells the manager, David Elliot, to give him all the jewels. Elliot recognizes him as Keyes and Keyes shoots the man dead.
Marge encourages Monk to redecorate and gives him a scarf as a gift. Natalie arrives for the day and discovers that Marge has managed to get Monk to do everything that Natalie has always tried to do. When Natalie mentions that Julie is sick, Marge gets Monk to give Natalie a day off and a surprised and happy Natalie makes a quick exit. Stottlemeyer and Disher arrive but they’re looking for Marge. They believe Keyes is the jewelry store robber: he’s been arrested for robbery and worked at the jewelry store. However, he claims that he was at home playing drums when the robbery took place. Marge confirms his alibi, as she called the police to complain about Keyes the same time the store was robbed.

During his session with Dr. Bell, Monk admits that he’s surprised and happy to find someone who loves him unconditionally. He thinks Marge is a better mother than his real mother ever was. However, he begins to wonder what the catch is: everyone who has ever been his friend has wanted something from him.
Monk investigates the jewelry store murder and brings along Marge. She gets in the way, collecting items for his new scrapbook, and Monk coldly tells her that he’s trying to work. She sees a broach that looks like one her husband gave her and pulls out a photo. Monk notices a photo of her son Pauly and remembers that Keyes has a birthmark similar to the one that Pauly had. Here’s what happened: Keyes and his mother Marge set up the alibi so he could rob the jewelry store and get away with it.

Stottlemeyer has no choice but to bring Marge in for questioning, and Monk angrily demands to know where she hid the loot. He gets steadily angrier as she denies that Keyes is her son, and Marge gets angry that Monk keeps accusing her of lying about her son. Finally Natalie comes in to inform them that Keyes made bail thanks to his real mother. An angry Marge takes her scarf and leaves.

After confirming that Pauly died, Monk and Natalie go to Marge’s house and Monk tries to apologize. Marge sadly says that she doesn’t have a son… again. As they leave, Monk notices hydraulic fluid in Keyes’ driveway. He and Natalie follow the trail and Monk has Natalie call Stottlemeyer. He arrives while Disher gets the warrant, and the three of them go into Keyes’ garage. Monk finds the egg-eating robot, holding drumsticks and wearing Keyes’ clothing. Here’s what really happened: Keyes irritated his neighbors playing the drums, then broken into the museum and stole the robot. He dressed it up and put in the living room by his drum set, holding a pair of drumsticks. On the night of the jewelry store break-in, he put the robot on a timer and played drum solo music on a boom box. Marge saw the shape of the robot playing and heard the music and reported Keyes.
Keys comes in and prepares to shoot them. However, Disher arrives with the warrant and sees the robot moving. Thinking it’s the killer, he orders it to surrender. Taking advantage of the distraction, Monk and Stottlemeyer disarm Keyes, while Disher is forced to shoot the robot.

Later, Natalie and Monk discover that Marge is moving. They go to visit her and she explains that she’s going to buy a townhouse in Seattle with her sister. She accepts Monk’s apology and says it’s okay, then gives him his scarf back. She tells him to stay warm and to be a pirate, then leaves for Seattle.
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