Dr. Cuddy: Are you doing anything Friday?
Dr. House: Taking a lovely young lady to the Philharmonic.
Dr. Cuddy: Is that your way of saying you're having sex with a hooker?
Dr. House: Two. Can't create a harmonic with just one.
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(to Dr. Wilson)
Dr. House: You're a wuss. Part wimp, part puss.
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(about Thirteen)
Dr. Taub: She's not a nympho, she's bisexual, which by the way means she's accustomed to partners who don't need a map to find the treasure.
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Dr. Kutner: God gave the Church and the kid free will. Their exercise of that free will hurt you, means you're just a victim of God's gift to mankind.
Daniel Bresson: Oh yeah, God wants life to have meaning. Life's meaningless without free will. With free will, there's already suffering. So God wants suffering. I got tired of that argument before I even finished saying it.
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Dr. Chase: Office romances are a bad idea. We beat some very long odds.
Dr. Cameron: Wow, why don't you save the gushy stuff for the wedding.
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Daniel Bresson: You want to believe, don't you?
Dr. House: Yeah, I want to walk out and find myself in a forest of whore trees. But I don't think it's a good idea to tell people to go fornicate with fruit.
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(to Dr. Cuddy)
Dr. House: Hey, I was just talking about you. Not you specifically--whores and hypocrisy.
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Dr. Wilson: If you want to go, just go and act like a human being.
Dr. House: Wow, solid advice, except for two things. I'm acting like I don't want to go because I don't want to go and... (steals food from a kid's tray) I'm incapable of acting like a human being.
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Dr. Wilson: Any second thoughts about Cuddy?
Dr. House: Nope. But please, feel free to blather on.
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Dr. House: Religion is not the opiate of the masses, it's the placebo of the masses.
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Daniel Bresson: Einstein said, "Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous."
Dr. House: A woman in Florida said, "Look, Jesus is on my cheese sandwich."
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