Jill: You're betting on Brad's social life?
Randy: Actually I am betting against it.
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(To Brad and Samantha)
Jill: Forgive my husband, he's concerned about our son getting mixed up with the wrong car.
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Jill: What would an older woman want with our son?
Randy: Maybe where she is from, she's not allowed to have dogs.
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Al: Yep every little boy remembers peering over watching his father shaving.
Tim: I guess in your case that would be your mother, wouldn't it?
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(Regarding Brad and Samantha's engagement)
Tim: Get me some champagne. And a couple of juice boxes for the bride and groom.
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(To Brad)
Tim: You can't get married, you got homework!
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(To Brad over a possible pregnancy with Samantha)
Brad: What is with you Mom? All you ever think about is sex.
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(Regarding Brad's wedding)
Tim: He'll have to sit at the children's table at his own wedding.
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Jill: I am having a problem with Brad.
Wilson: What's wrong? Is he not eating his veggies?
Jill: Nope, just getting married.
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Randy: Hey Brad, I thought of a great place for you to have your bachelor party. Chuck-E-Cheese!
Mark: Yeah, the groom gets free tokens!
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(To Samantha)
Brad: I'm glad to hear you say that. I'd be kind of weird taking my report card home to my wife.
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