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Season 5 |
| 81 :05x01 - Stewie Loves Lois (Sep/10/2006) | | After Rupert is violently ripped to shreds by a stray dog, Lois sows him back together. Grateful for saving his beloved teddy, Stewie becomes obsessed with spending time with her. At first Lois loves all the loving attention, but after time all his love wears her out. Meanwhile, Peter files a lawsuit on the local doctor after he misinterprets his prostate exam. | | Guest Stars: Adam West as Mayor Adam West, Anne-Michelle Seiler as Woman, Dave Boat as Various, Ellen Albertini Dow as Elderly Woman, John Viener as Various, Alec Sulkin as Various, Alex Breckenridge as Various, Danny Smith (6) as Various, Lori Alan (1) as Diane Simmons, Kevin Michael Richardson (2) as Various, Patrick Warburton as Joe Swanson, Phil LaMarr as Various | Director: Mike Kim (1)
Writer: Mark Hentemann | | Songs: Kenny Loggins -- I'm Free (Heaven Helps The Man) | | | |
| 82 :05x02 - Mother Tucker (Sep/17/2006) | | Peter's mother divorces his dad and begins dating Quahog anchorman Tom Tucker, who becomes Peter's new father figure. Meanwhile, Brian gets his own radio show and Stewie can't help but stir things up. | | Guest Stars: Joe Lomonaco as Weenie, Gore Vidal as Himself, Phyllis Diller as Thelma Griffin | Director: James Purdum
Writer: Tom Devanney | | Songs: June Christy -- Give Me The Simple Life, Starship -- Nothing's Gonna Stop us Now | | | |
| 83 :05x03 - Hell Comes to Quahog (Sep/24/2006) | | Everyone is uncomfortable when a heat wave strikes Quahog. To make matters worse, a big box store (a - la Wal-Mart) sets up a new division in Quahog, which runs every other store out of business. Including the brewery. At first, Peter rallies up a gang to go against the the corporation, but once he enters inside the air-conditioned heaven he ends up getting a job there with Meg as his boss. Meanwhile, a car salesman talks Peter into buying a tank (yes, a tank) instead of car for Meg, which Brian and Stewie use to their advantage to take the big corporation down. | | Guest Stars: Lori Alan (1) as Diane Simmons, Phil LaMarr as Ollie Williams, Rachael MacFarlane as Fat Chick, Dave Boat as Various, Patrick Warburton as Joe Swanson, Carrie Fisher as Angela | Director: Dan Povenmire
Writer: Kirker Butler | | Songs: Walter Murphy -- A Fifth of Beethoven, Lisa Loeb -- Stay | | | |
| 84 :05x04 - Saving Private Brian (Nov/05/2006) | | When Chris is asked to join the military, Brian is outraged, and heads down to the recruiting office to speak his mind. Once there, Stewie is swindled into signing him and Brian into the military. They are shipped to Iraq, where they desperately try to get honorably discharged in any way possible. Meanwhile, back in Quahog, Chris joins a Goth band. | | Guest Stars: John Viener as Various, Gary Cole as Various, Phil LaMarr as Various, Louis Gossett, Jr. as Sergeant Angryman, Macaulay Culkin as Joey | Director: Cyndi Tang-Loveland
Writer: Cherry Chevapravatdumrong | | Songs: Elmer Bernstein -- The Theme Song From "Stripes" | | | | | | | | | |
| 87 :05x07 - Chick Cancer (Nov/26/2006) | | Stewie reunites with his old flame Olivia and the two decide to get married. However, their relationship soon begins to dull out. Meanwhile, after Lois introduces Peter to "chick flicks" he decides to make his own. | | Guest Stars: Alec Sulkin as Various, Stacey Scowley as Various, Dave Boat as Various, Lizzy Caplan as Various, Jeff Bergman as Various, Rachael MacFarlane as Olivia, John Viener as Various, Adam West as Mayor Adam West, Drew Barrymore as Jillian, Alex Breckenridge as Various, Patrick Warburton as Joe Swanson, Lori Alan (1) as Diane Simmons, Johnny Brennan (1) as Various, Danny Smith (6) as Various | Director: Pete Michels (1)
Writer: Wellesley Wild, Alec Sulkin | | Songs: Rush -- Tom Sawyer | | | |
| 88 :05x08 - Barely Legal (Dec/17/2006) | | Meg is having problems finding a date for her prom, and she needs some help, even though he is dating his girlfriend Jillian, he decides to go with Meg to the prom. At the prom, Brian gets drunk to get the night over, and ends up making out with Meg. Meg begins to think of Brian as her "Boyfriend" (even though he is of a different species) and begins to spend every moment with him. In the mean time, Peter, Quagmire and Cleaveland decide to join the Police Force. | | Guest Stars: Alec Sulkin as Various, John Viener as Various, Patrick Warburton as Joe Swanson, Adam West as Mayor Adam West, Lisa Wilhoit as Beth and Connie, Barclay Deveau as Various, Chris Sheridan as Various, Tamera Mowry as Esther, Garrett Morris (1) as Himself, Phil LaMarr as Various, Alex Breckenridge as Various, Drew Barrymore as Jillian, Lori Alan (1) as Diane Simmons, Kerrigan Mahan as Various, Natasha Melnick as Various | Director: Zac Moncrief
Writer: Kirker Butler | | Songs: Richard Marx -- Hold on to the Nights, Annie Lennox -- Why | | | | | | |
| 90 :05x10 - Peter's Two Dads (Feb/11/2007) | | When Peter accidentally kills his father it jogs his memory that Francis once told Peter he wasn't his real father. After Thelma tells him that his real father actually lives in Ireland Peter and Brian travel there to find him. Meanwhile, after Lois hits Stewie he discovers that he loves being spanked, and does everything possible in order to get spanked again. | | Guest Stars: Charles Durning as Francis Griffin, Phyllis Diller as Thelma | Director: Cyndi Tang-Loveland
Writer: Danny Smith (6) | | | |
| 91 :05x11 - The Tan Aquatic with Steve Zissou (Feb/18/2007) | When a bully harasses Chris, Peter goes to his defense, but the kid is so annoying that Peter ends up beating him up. Meanwhile, Stewie goes out without sunscreen and becomes obsessed with getting a tan. After Brian accidentally leaves him in the tanning booth for six hours, Stewie gets sunburned and fears he has cancer. While waiting for the results of his cancer screening, Stewie begins to live his life as if he had only days to live and drives Brian crazy with his demands.
Source: FOX | | Guest Stars: Jeff Bergman as Various, Mary Kay Bergman as Various, Chris Sheridan as Various, Keir Gilchrist as Kyle, John Viener as Various, Beth Littleford as various, Kevin Michael Richardson (2) as Fozzy, Alec Sulkin as Various, Chris Cox as Various, Danny Smith (6) as Various, Mike Barker (1) as Various, Patrick Warburton as Joe Swanson | Director: Julius Wu
Writer: Mark Hentemann | | Songs: The Dream Academy -- Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want | | | |
| 92 :05x12 - Airport '07 (Mar/04/2007) | Peter takes Quagmire to the airport for work and messes things up, causing Quagmire to lose his job as a pilot. Quagmire cant find another gig, so Peter and Cleveland devise a plan to help him get his old job back. When the plan flops, Quagmire receives advice from his idol, Hugh Hefner, which leads him to save the day
Source: thefutoncritic.com | | Guest Stars: Barclay Deveau as Various, Danny Smith (6) as Various, Lori Alan (1) as Diane Simmons, John Viener as Various, Rachael MacFarlane as Various, Alec Sulkin as Various, Phil LaMarr as Ollie Williams, Mark Hentemann as Various, Ralph Garman as Various, Patrick Warburton as Joe Swanson, Hugh M. Hefner as Himself, Adam West as Mayor Adam West | Director: John Holmquist
Writer: Tom Devanney | | Songs: David Rose -- Closing Theme from Little House on the Prarie, Elmer Bernstein -- Theme Music from Airplane, Harold Faltermeyer & Steve Stevens -- Theme song from Top Gun | | | |
| 93 :05x13 - Bill and Peter's Bogus Journey (Mar/11/2007) | | After Peter hurts himself trying to fix a flat tire on former president Bill Clinton's limousine, an appreciative Clinton sets out to show the depressed Peter a good time. Then Clinton has some fun with Lois as well. Meanwhile, Stewie toilet trains Brian. | | Guest Stars: Conway Twitty as Himself (Archive Footage), Roy Scheider as Himself, Alec Sulkin as Starbucks Guy, Barclay Deveau as Various, John Viener as Various, Wally Wingert as Various, Patrick Warburton as Joe Swanson, Danny Smith (6) as Various, Adam West as Mayor Adam West | Director: Dominic Polcino
Writer: Steve Callaghan | | Songs: Conway Twitty -- You've Never Been This Far Before, Conway Twitty -- Your Love Had Taken Me That High, (Unknown artist) -- Night Court theme song | | | |
| 94 :05x14 - No Meals On Wheels (Mar/25/2007) | | After a historical coin is found under the Griffin's carpet, Peter and Lois start a family restaurant, which soon turns into a favorite place for the paraplegic community of Quahog. But Peter turns against them. | | Guest Stars: Patrick Warburton as Joe Swanson, Arnold McCuller as Various, Keith Ferguson as Various, Steve Callaghan as Various, Barclay Deveau as Various, Chris Cox as Various, Danny Smith (6) as Various, Johnny Brennan (1) as Various, Lori Alan (1) as Diane Simmons, John Viener as Various, Alec Sulkin as Various, Chris Sheridan as Various, Patrick Stewart as Himself | Director: Greg Colton
Writer: Mike Henry (1) | | Songs: Elton John -- I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues | | | |
| 95 :05x15 - Boys Do Cry (Apr/29/2007) | The family heads to church when Lois gets a gig as the organist, but after Stewie gets sick the congregation is convinced he's possessed by the devil. So, the family goes on the run and ends up in Texas. Peter fits right in with the cowboys, Stewie enters the "Little Miss Texas" pageant and Chris and Meg sneak into George W. Bush's house.
Source: FOX | | Guest Stars: Alex Breckenridge as Various, Bill Engvall as Duke Dillon, Ralph Garman as Various, Mark Hentemann as Various, Camilla Stull as Baby Girl, Kirker Butler as George W. Bush, Adam West as Mayor Adam West, Alec Sulkin as Announcer #2, Gilbert Gottfried as Horse, Drew Barrymore as Jillian, John Viener as Various, Chris Cox as Various, Danny Smith (6) as Various, Lori Alan (1) as Diane Simmons | Director: Brian Iles
Writer: Cherry Chevapravatdumrong | | Songs: June Pointer -- Little Boy Sweet, Rossini -- William Tell Overature | | | | | | |
| 97 :05x17 - It Takes A Village Idiot, And I Married One (May/13/2007) | When Lois runs for mayor of Quahog, she isn't the front-runner until she 'dumbs down' her political views. Once in office, she's corrupted by the power and starts accepting bribes so that she can buy herself expensive trinkets. Meanwhile, Peter's enjoying being the "first lady" and all of the perks that go along with it.
Source: FOX | | Guest Stars: Carrie Fisher as Angela, Phil LaMarr as Various, Patrick Warburton as Joe Swanson, Keith Olbermann as Bob Grossbeard, Fred Tatasciore as Various, John Viener as Various, Lori Alan (1) as Diane Simmons, Johnny Brennan (1) as Various, Danny Smith (6) as Various, Gary Cole as Various, Don Most as Himself, Adam West as Mayor Adam West | Director: Zac Moncrief
Writer: Alex Borstein
Story: Cherry Chevapravatdumrong | | | |
| 98 :05x18 - Meet the Quagmires (May/20/2007) | Death grants Peter's wish of going back in time to be 18 again just for one night so that he can sow his wild oats. In 1984, he bails on a date with Lois to go to a bar and make out with a movie actress, but when he returns to the present, he discovers that he is now married to the former starlet and Lois is with Quagmire.
Source: Fox | | Guest Stars: Alec Sulkin as Various, Will Sasso as Various, Chris Cox as Various, Johnny Brennan (1) as Various, Patrick Warburton as Joe Swanson, John Viener as Various, Adam Carolla as Death, Luke Adams (3) as Singer (“Earth Angel” Performer) | Directors: Chris Robertson, Dan Povenmire
Writer: Mark Hentemann | | Songs: Harold Faltermeyer -- Axel F aka Beverly Hills Cop Theme, Kenny Loggins -- Mr. Night | | | |
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