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Season 1 |
| 1 :01x01 - Pilot (Feb/06/2005) | | Steve finds himself unable to score with Lisa Silver, a sexy cheerleader, so Stan helps him by rigging the school election to name him student body president. Meanwhile, Francine cuts off Roger's junk food supply, and Roger uses Hayley to get his fix by writing her term papers. | | Guest Stars: Curtis Armstrong as Schmuley “Snot” Lonstein, Carmen Electra as Lisa Silver, Chris Cox as George W. Bush, Daisuke Suzuki (1) as Toshi, Bradford N. Smith (2) as Various, Mike Henry (1) as Jackson, Charlie, Mike Barker (1) as Terry Bates, Eddie Kaye Thomas (1) as Barry, Stephen Root as Dick, Busy Philipps as Dana, Ralph Garman as Hazmat Guy | Director: Ron Hughart Writer: Seth MacFarlane, Mike Barker (1), Matt Weitzman | | | |
| 2 :01x02 - Threat Levels (May/01/2005) | | After a deadly virus scare, Francine wishes to do more with her life and becomes a real estate agent, making Stan feel insecure. Meanwhile, Hayley uses one of the houses in her mother's portfolio to set up a homeless shelter, though Steve wants to stage fights between the homeless after his attempt at making a "Girls Gone Wild"-style video series fails. | | Guest Stars: Daisuke Suzuki (1) as Toshi, Mike Henry (1) as Jackson, Charlie, Mike Barker (1) as Terry, Eddie Kaye Thomas (1) as Barry, Sarah Silverman as Stripper, Curtis Armstrong as Schmuley “Snot” Lonstein | Director: Brent Woods Writer: David Zuckerman | | Songs: Van Halen -- Unchained | | | | | | |
| 4 :01x04 - Francine's Flashback (May/15/2005) | | After forgetting his anniversary, Stan arranges to have the last 20 hours of Francine's memory erased, but a bungling technician accidentally erases 20 years, making Francine think she's a wild and carefree teenager from 1985. Meanwhile, Steve asks out Lindsay Coolidge, a popular girl from school, who will only accept if Steve finds someone to date her ugly-as-sin best friend. | | Guest Stars: Patrick Stewart as Avery Bullock, Jeff Fischer (1) as Jeff Fischer, Phill Lewis as Duper, Mike Henry (1) as Charlie, Jason Marsden as Gertie | Directors: Brent Woods, Caleb Meurer Writer: Rick Wiener, Kenny Schwartz | | Songs: Queens of the Stone Age -- Never Say Never | | | | | | | | | |
| 7 :01x07 - Deacon Stan, Jesus Man (Jun/19/2005) | | Stan, wanting to beat his rival at something, volunteers to become a replacement deacon against him after the previous deacon died. Meanwhile, Roger is going through his reproductive cycle and, in the process, accidentally impregnates Steve. | | Guest Stars: Josh Groban as Whiny Parishoner, Mike Henry (1) as Jackson, Mike Barker (1) as Agent, Patrick Stewart as Avery Bullock, Stephen Root as Dick | Director: John Aoshima Writer: Nahnatchka Khan (1) | | | |
| 8 :01x08 - Bullocks to Stan (Sep/11/2005) | | Stan finds Deputy Director Bullock, his supervisor, starting a relationship with Hayley. However, he can't risk saying or doing anything about it because he's up for a promotion at the CIA. Meanwhile, Steve finds Dick Cheney's BlackBerry and uses the contact numbers to play pranks on political figures from around the world. | | Guest Stars: Billy West as Crowd in Diner, Stephen Root as Dick, Mike Henry (1) as Jackson, Chris Edgerly as Waitress #2, Crowd in the diner, Candi Milo as Waitress #1, Jeff Fischer (1) as Jeff Fischer, Patrick Stewart as Avery Bullock | Director: Brent Woods Writer: Alison McDonald | | Songs: Crowded House -- Don't Dream, It's Over, Oingo Boingo's -- Little Girls, Unknown -- Under Paris Skies (Sous le ciel de Paris) | | | |
| 9 :01x09 - A Smith in the Hand (Sep/18/2005) | | Stan decides to teach Steve sex ed himself, teaching him the "evils" of masturbation. However, Stan suffers an embarrassing accident, and his ointment use turns into an addiction to masturbation. Meanwhile, Roger becomes a bartender after Hayley insults him about wasting his days drinking and watching sleazy reality shows. | | Guest Stars: Kevin Michael Richardson (2) as Principal Lewis, TV Announcer, Peter MacKenzie (1) as Dr. Grossbard, Senator #1, Scott Menville as Timmy, Kids, Wendy Schaal as Delta Burke, Seth MacFarlane as Deacon, Greg Corbin, Mike Barker (1) as Dr. Heisler, Terry Bates, Mike Henry (1) as Senator #2 | Director: Pam Cooke Writer: David Hemingson | | Songs: Carmina Burana -- O Fortuna | | | |
| 10 :01x10 - All About Steve (Sep/25/2005) | | Stan discovers and is ashamed of Steve's geekiness and disowns him, only to discover he needs his help to catch a cyber-terrorist on an online game. Meanwhile, Roger tries to find a suitable job that will allow him to interact with humans. | | Guest Stars: Catero Colbert as Derek Jeter, Stephen Root as Dick, Dentist's Father, Jon Ross as Alien Man, Brian Posehn as Dan Vebber, Stephen Colbert as Dentist, Mike Barker (1) as Terry Bates, Skinny Man, Patrick Stewart as Avery Bullock, Seth MacFarlane as Deacon, Greg Corbin, Curtis Armstrong as Schmuley “Snot” Lonstein, Eddie Kaye Thomas (1) as Barry, Mike Henry (1) as Jackson, Taco King, Daisuke Suzuki (1) as Toshi | Director: Mike Kim (1) Writer: Matt McKenna, Chris McKenna (2) | | Songs: Looper -- Mondo '77 | | | | | | |
| 12 :01x12 - Stan of Arabia (1) (Nov/06/2005) | | Part one of two. After doing a terrible job standing in for Jay Leno at Bullock's anniversary roast, Stan is reassigned to Saudi Arabia. While his family begins to go through hell, Stan discovers all of his greatest fantasies come true under the male-dominated society. | | Guest Stars: André Sogliuzzo as Manager, Wally Wingert as Jay Leno, Neal Feinberg as Khalid, April Stewart as Salima, Bahir, Jeff Fischer (1) as Jeff Fischer, Odile Corso as Angelina Jolie, Brian George (2) as Ali, Fred Tatasciore as Poilce Officer #2, Jeff Bennett as Mahmood, Jill Talley as Mom, Dalia, Patrick Stewart as Avery Bullock, Mike Henry (1) as Jackson, Michael Moore, Faziz, Stephen Root as Dick, Peter Lurie as Mysterious Fellow, Paget Brewster as Woman, Thundercat | Director: Rodney Clouden Writer: Nahnatchka Khan (1) | | Songs: Clash -- Rock the Casbah | | | |
| 13 :01x13 - Stan of Arabia (2) (Nov/13/2005) | | Conclusion. Stan has renounced his American citizenship to live in Saudi Arabia, though his family finds themselves in their own awkward situations that lead them to getting sentenced to death by stoning. Meanwhile, Roger is wooed by an Arab prince. | | Guest Stars: Brian George (2) as Ali, Prince, Guy #3, Mike Henry (1) as Faziz, Announcer #2, Neal Feinberg as Khalid, Zacharias, Defense Attorney, Zuhair Haddad as Old Guy, Police Officer #3, Grant Heslov as Man #2, Announcer #4, Paget Brewster as Thundercat, Oded Fehr as Kazim, Peter Lurie as Mystery Fellow, Gina Gershon as Woman, American Girl #1, Odile Corso as God, Fred Tatasciore as Police Officer #2, Judge, Patrick Stewart as Avery Bullock | Director: Anthony Lioi Writer: Craig Thomas, Carter Bays | | Songs: Christopher Cross -- Sailing | | | |
| 14 :01x14 - Stannie Get Your Gun (Nov/20/2005) | | The National Gun Association is having a meeting at Stan’s house, which is against what Hayley believes in. Her belief is that guns kill people, while Stan thinks its people that kill people. Their argument gets them against each other, but Stan cooks up a plan in which Hayley is forced to shoot a (fake) burglar. When she finds out what the plan was, she gets furious and accidentally shoots Stan (paralyzing him), but when Stan becomes the chairman for the NGA, he needs her help in order to get the extra job. Meanwhile, Steve believes he is adopted because of several pranks done by Roger (in revenge). | | Guest Stars: Beau Bridges as Doctor, Lieutenant Thacker, John Carroll Lynch (1) as Acl-Lou, Mr. Simms, Monkey, Elias Koteas as Jim, Mike Barker (1) as Terry Bates, Mr. Madsen, Michael, Jill Talley as Little Girl's Mom, Ramona, Seth MacFarlane as Greg Corbin | Director: John Aoshima Writer: Brian Boyle | | | |
| 15 :01x15 - Star Trek (Nov/27/2005) | | Steve's story about a drunken Roger becomes a bestselling children's book, but the fame goes to his head after Stan and Francine exploit him and Steve's new agent convinces him to divorce his parents. | | Guest Stars: Jim Wise as Mr. Durbin, Curtis Armstrong as Schmuley “Snot” Lonstein, Daisuke Suzuki (1) as Toshi, Leslie Jordan as Mr. Beauregard, Jill Talley as Boob Woman, Old Woman, Eddie Kaye Thomas (1) as Barry, Spike, Matt McKenna as Kevin, Cap'n Monty, Bryan Cranston as Publisher | Director: Mike Kim (1) Writer: Chris McKenna (2), Matt McKenna | | Songs: Glenn Miller -- In the Mood | | | | | | |
| 17 :01x17 - Rough Trade (Jan/08/2006) | | In this less magical homage to "Freaky Friday," Stan and Roger switch places to see who has it tougher, leading authorities to believe that Stan is a horrible husband and father after finding nude pictures of Steve, monkeys in the basement, and a delirious Francine with a black eye. | | Guest Stars: Beau Bridges as Lieutenant Goldberg, Jason Lee (1) as Officer Bays, Andy Richter as Philip, Mike Barker (1) as Contestant, Terry, Patrick Stewart as Avery Bullock, Jill Talley as Senator Feinstein, Maria, Rob Tinkler (1) as Doyle, Fusfeld, Ron Livingston as Bob Memari, Megyn Price as Linda Memari | Director: Pam Cooke Writer: David Zuckerman | | Songs: Sonny and Cher -- I Got You Babe | | | |
| 18 :01x18 - Finances With Wolves (Jan/29/2006) | | Stan gets a big bonus at work, and uses it to buy extravagant gadgets for himself, while Francine begs him to invest some of it in her dream to own a muffin kiosk. Meanwhile, Klaus's brain gets put into the body of a human, Hayley protests against the demolition of a forest, and Steve thinks he's a werewolf. | | Guest Stars: Daisuke Suzuki (1) as Toshi, Nicole Sullivan as Janice, David Herman as Arboreus, Mr. Aids, Eddie Kaye Thomas (1) as Barry, Mike Barker (1) as Ticket Guy, Terry, Valet, Curtis Armstrong as Schmuley “Snot” Lonstein, Peter MacKenzie (1) as Chief Shopaholic, Midnight Runner #1, Salesman | Director: Albert Calleros Writer: Neal Boushell, Sam O'Neal | | Songs: Flavor Flav -- 911 is a joke, Earth, Wind, and Fire. -- September | | | |
| 19 :01x19 - It's Good to be Queen (Feb/26/2006) | | Stan has emotional issues with the Homecoming because of what happened at his high school one. So he's extremely excited to go to Francine's high school reunion, where he can dance with her (she was the Homecoming Queen) in front of everyone. However, at the Reunion, they find some missing votes, meaning Francine wasn't really the Homecoming Queen. Meanwhile, a pizza delivery man teaches Steve and Roger about love and forgiveness. | | Guest Stars: Dayna Devin (1) as Girl In Line, Ioan Gruffudd (1) as Gabriel Byrne, Medic, Matt McKenna as Coach Patterson, David Zuckerman as Housekeeper, Betty Sue, Jeff Fischer (1) as Jeff Fischer, Donnie Patterson, Jon Cryer as Quacky, Leigh-Allyn Baker as Margie, Jeremy Sisto as Mitch, Mike Henry (1) as Jackson, Maitre D', Stephen Root as Dick, Mike Barker (1) as Jock #2 | Director: Rodney Clouden Writer: Alison McDonald | | Songs: The Look of Love -- ABC, INXS -- Never Tear Us Apart | | | |
| 20 :01x20 - Roger 'n Me (Apr/23/2006) | | Stan visits Atlantic City for his "best friend's" bachelor party, only to find out he was never invited. Roger steps in and becomes Stan's new best friend. They get drunk one night, and engage in some sort of alien friendship ceremony, which takes their friendship to a whole new level. Meanwhile, Steve and Hayley team up to break up a couple. | | Guest Stars: Laura Linney as Doctor Gupta, Wendie Jo Sperber as Herself (Best Buddiez Host), John Torbett as Bobo, Mike Barker (1) as Frank / Terry, Peter Scolari as Himself (Best Buddiez Host), Peter Facinelli as Miles, Jennie Garth as Trudy | Director: Anthony Lioi Writer: Rick Wiener, Kenny Schwartz | | Songs: Edie Brickell -- Circle, Queen -- Don't Stop Me Now, Pet Shop Boys -- West End Girls | | | |
| 21 :01x21 - Helping Handis (Apr/30/2006) | | After watching Hayley's student film that paints Francine as a boring housewife, Francine becomes determined to start a new career as a surgeon. Meanwhile, Stan gets Steve on the school water polo team, but when Steve fails, Stan gives him steroids...with an unusual side effect. | | Guest Stars: André Sogliuzzo as Deaf Teddy / Blind Jimmy, Kevin Michael Richardson (2) as Monty, Fred Tatasciore as Johnny Four-Legs, Mike Barker (1) as Nick, John DiMaggio as Sully, Eddie Kaye Thomas (1) as Barry, John Cho as Vince Chung, Matt McKenna as Coach Andrews | Director: Caleb Meurer Writer: Nahnatchka Khan (1) | | Songs: Def Leppard -- Pour Some Sugar On Me | | | | | | | | | | Season 2 |
| 24 :02x01 - Camp Refoogee (Sep/10/2006) | | In a desperate attempt to send Steve to a summer camp, Stan sends him off to the only one still available, Camp Refoogee. However, Camp Refoogee turns out to be a refugee camp in Africa. Meanwhile, Roger and Francine pose as a married couple, but things go wrong when they can't stick to a coherent backstory. | | Guest Stars: Rob Tinkler (1) as Clerk, Romany Malco as Skittle/HotRod/Refugee, Christine Taylor (1) as Candy, Thandie Newton as Makeva, Seth Rogen as Student | Director: Albert Calleros Writer: Jonathan Fener, Josh Bycel | | Songs: Toto -- Africa, Sir Mix-a-lot -- Baby Got Back | | | | | | |
| 26 :02x03 - Failure is Not a Factory-installed Option (Sep/24/2006) | | When Stan falls victim to a persuasive car salesman he loses his job and his confidence. Meanwhile, Steve and Roger devise a plan to get to first base with popular girls at school, and the saga of Roger's jewel-encrusted gold turd continues. | | Guest Stars: Paget Brewster as Judy, Scott Lowell as Felix, John DiMaggio as Car Repo Guy/Priest, Christine Baranski as Homeless Woman, Curtis Armstrong as Schmuley “Snot” Lonstein, Elias Koteas as Jim, Eddie Kaye Thomas (1) as Barry, Patrick Stewart as Avery Bullock, Swoosie Kurtz as Marilyn, Beau Bridges as Lieutenant Thacker | Director: Rodney Clouden Writer: Etan Cohen (1) | | | |
| 27 :02x04 - Lincoln Lover (Nov/05/2006) | | Stan gets passed up to speak at the Republican National Convention and is desperate to speak at anything Republican. When he creates a play based on Abraham Lincoln and his close male friend, a local chapter of the Log Cabin Republicans choose Stan to be their speaker (which unnerves Stan when he learns that the Log Cabin Republicans are known for having male homosexuals as their members). | | Guest Stars: Seth MacFarlane as Greg Corbin, Tom Hollander as Waiter, Performance Artist, Wilson Cruz as Fan, Log Cabin Chorus, Andrew, Stark Sands as Tino, Conservative #1, Mike Barker (1) as Terry Bates, Suzanne Cryer as Babette, Peter Paige as Jason, Scott Lowell as Brett | Director: Brent Woods Writer: Nahnatchka Khan (1), Kenny Schwartz, Rick Wiener | | Songs: Whitney Houston -- I Will Always Love You, Celine Dion -- My Heart Will Go On | | | |
| 28 :02x05 - Dungeons and Wagons (Nov/12/2006) | | Stan takes up drag racing when Francine suggests they spice up their marriage. Meanwhile, Jeff becomes emotionally crushed after Hayley breaks up with him, but finds comfort in Steve's online gaming world. | | Guest Stars: Jeff Fischer (1) as Jeff Fischer, John DiMaggio as Brad, Leon, Daisuke Suzuki (1) as Toshi, Popo, Eddie Kaye Thomas (1) as Barry, Flandnag, Curtis Armstrong as Schmuley “Snot” Lonstein | Directors: Kurt Dumas, Anthony Lioi Writer: Michael Shipley, Jim Bernstein | | Songs: Whitesnake -- Here I Go Again, Toto -- I Won't Hold You Back | | | | | | |
| 30 :02x07 - Of Ice and Men (Nov/26/2006) | | In the distant future, Klaus (now an elderly human male with a son) tells the story of how Francine discovered Stan's passion for figure skating and how Steve and his friends fought over a Russian mail-order bride. | | Guest Stars: Austin Majors as Thomas, Daisuke Suzuki (1) as Toshi, Mike Barker (1) as Terry Bates, Rainn Wilson as Kight (Clifford), Driver, Ivana Milicevic as Svetlana, Martin Mull as Father Donavan, Eddie Kaye Thomas (1) as Barry, Curtis Armstrong as Schmuley “Snot” Lonstein | Director: John Aoshima Writer: Brian Boyle | | Songs: Laura Branigan -- Gloria, ABBA -- Mamma Mia | | | |
| 31 :02x08 - Irregarding Steve (Dec/10/2006) | | When Roger helps Steve see how stupid Stan is, they run away to New York to become successful. Meanwhile, the rest of the family is certain that the two have just run away to the tree house, which is promptly destroyed during a lightning storm, which is home to three squirrels re-enacting scenes from What's Eating Gilbert Grape. | | Guest Stars: Leslie Jordan as Mr. Beauregard, Rusty Schwimmer as Mama Squirrel, Johnny Galecki as Arnie the Squirrel, André Sogliuzzo as Teacher, John Krasinski as Gilbert the squirrel, Jon Stewart as Himself | Director: Pam Cooke Writer: Matt McKenna, Chris McKenna (2) | | | |
| 32 :02x09 - The Best Christmas Story Never (Dec/17/2006) | | With Stan's Christmas spirit at an all-time low (thanks to special interest groups trying to make the holiday season more politically correct), the Ghost of Christmas Past visits him and tries to show him the true meaning of Christmas. However, Stan is convinced that Christmas can be saved by changing the outcome of the Vietnam War and killing Jane Fonda. Meanwhile, Roger (living in the 1970s under the name "Roger Epstein") invents disco music and becomes a success. | | Special Guest Stars: Lisa Kudrow as The Ghost of Christmas Past, | Guest Stars: Seth MacFarlane as Greg Corbin, Mike Barker (1) as Terry Bates, Rick Hoffman as John Hinkley/Caroler #1, Chris Diamantopoulos as Donald Sutherland/Robert Deniro | Director: Albert Calleros Writer: Brian Boyle | | | | | | |
| 34 :02x11 - American Dream Factory (Jan/28/2007) | | When Stan feels he's not getting anywhere at his current job with the CIA, he decides to fullfill his dream of making teddy bears in themes of the major holidays. However, Stan realizes he can't do it alone and hires a group of illegal aliens to help him, angering Hayley. Meanwhile, Steve and his friends start a rock band, with Roger as the drummer. | | Guest Stars: Miguel Ferrer as Agent Hopkins, Niecy Nash as Patty Labelle, Elizabeth Peña as Store Owner, Stark Sands as Williams, Iggy Pop as Jerry, Curtis Armstrong as Schmuley “Snot” Lonstein, Eddie Kaye Thomas (1) as Barry, Efren Ramirez as Paco, Patrick Stewart as Avery Bullock | Director: Rodney Clouden Writer: Nahnatchka Khan (1) | | | | | | |
| 36 :02x13 - Black Mystery Month (Feb/18/2007) | While researching a paper about George Washington Carver in celebration of Black History Month, Steve uncovers a conspiracy thats been going on since the Civil War and strives to expose it to the public. Meanwhile, Roger stalls during a game of Jenga with Hayley.
Source: FOX | | Guest Stars: Fred Tatasciore as Various, Matt McKenna as Various, Jane Lynch as Unknown, David Herman as Various, Eric Edwards as Various, Chris Diamantopoulos as Various, Diane Delano as Unknown, Mike Barker (1) as Various, Kevin Michael Richardson (2) as Principal Lewis, Curtis Armstrong as Schmuley “Snot” Lonstein | Director: Brent Woods Writer: Laura McCreary | | | | | | | | | |
| 39 :02x16 - When a Stan Loves a Woman (Apr/29/2007) | When Stan discovers that Francine has a secret sex garden, he feels like their marriage might be on shaky ground. Hoping to rekindle the romance, Francine insists on a divorce so that Stan can experience life as a bachelor again, and both learn a valuable lesson in love. Meanwhile, Steve becomes addicted to an energy drink and finds himself panhandling in the streets to support his habit.
Source: Fox | | Guest Stars: Matt McKenna as Various, Becki Newton as Unknown, Terri Lyn Rodriguez as Unknown, Daisuke Suzuki (1) as Toshi, Michael Dunn (2) as Unknown, Chris Diamantopoulos as Various, Paget Brewster as Unknown, Curtis Armstrong as Schmuley “Snot” Lonstein, Eddie Kaye Thomas (1) as Barry, Mike Barker (1) as Biology Teacher | Director: Rodney Clouden Writer: Rick Wiener, Kenny Schwartz | | | |
| 40 :02x17 - I Can't Stan You (May/06/2007) | When Stan brings home special equipment from the CIA to eavesdrop on conversations, he discovers how his neighbors really feel about him. To get back at them, Stan has the entire neighborhood evicted in order to live free of any criticism. However, when an unexpected friend comes to his rescue, he realizes that gossip is a two-way street.
Source: Fox | | Guest Stars: Fred Tatasciore as Various, Becki Newton as Unknown, Miriam Margolyes as Margaret Thatcher, Ann Magnuson as Unknown, Chris Diamantopoulos as Various, Seth MacFarlane as Greg Corbin, Mike Henry (1) as Jackson, Megyn Price as Linda Memari, Patrick Stewart as Avery Bullock, Paul Butcher as Johnny, Ron Livingston as Bob Memari, Mike Barker (1) as Terry Bates | Director: Pam Cooke Writer: Jim Bernstein, Michael Shipley | | | | | | | | | | Season 3 |
| 43 :03x01 - The Vacation Goo (Sep/30/2007) | When Francine discovers that all of their family vacations have been artificial memories created by CIA so that Stan could ditch the family, she is fuming and demands a real vacation. However, when the vacation seems too good to be true, Francine is convinced it's the work of the CIA and causes the family to suffer the consequences. Meanwhile, Roger makes a desperate effort to be the greatest actor who ever lived.
Source: Fox | | Guest Stars: Eddie Kaye Thomas (1) as Barry, Daisuke Suzuki (1) as Toshi, Matt McKenna as Various, Jeff Fischer (1) as Jeff Fischer, John DiMaggio as Various, Patrick Bristow as Various, Mike Barker (1) as Various, Curtis Armstrong as Schmuley “Snot” Lonstein, Chris Diamantopoulos as Senor Hidalgo, James Patrick Stuart as Eddie, Elizabeth Banks as Becky Arangino | Director: Albert Calleros Writer: Josh Bycel, Jonathan Fener | | | |
| 44 :03x02 - Meter Made (Oct/07/2007) | | After Stan punches a male meter maid during a disagreement over a parking ticket, a judge sentences him to two weeks of community service---as a meter maid. He finds it empowering. Meanwhile, Hayley poses in the nude for an art class, where one of the artists turns out to be Roger. | | Guest Stars: Robby Takac as Various, Molly Shannon as Kristy, Rick Podell as Various, Brian Lally as Art Teacher, Mike Henry (1) as Various, Eric Edwards as Various, Shawn Michael Howard (1) as Belmonpan, Mike Rowe as Meter Maid, Mike Barker (1) as Meter Maid, Forest Whitaker as Turlington | Director: Bob Bowen Writer: Dan Vebber | | Songs: Antonio Vivaldi -- "Spring" | | | | | | |
| 46 :03x04 - Big Trouble in Little Langley (Nov/04/2007) | | Stan seeks out Francine's birth parents because her adoptive parents annoy him so much. But they don't annoy Steve, especially after they give him fireworks. | | Guest Stars: Michael Dunn (2) as Paramedic, Fred Tatasciore as Various, Daisuke Suzuki (1) as Toshi, Eddie Kaye Thomas (1) as Barry, Curtis Armstrong as Schmuley “Snot” Lonstein, Holland Taylor as Cassandra Dawson, Jeff Perry as Nicolas Dawson, Teresa Rodriguez as Lindsay Coolidge, Amy Hill as Mah Mah Ling, Tzi Ma as Bah Bah Ling | Director: John Aoshima Writer: Kenny Schwartz, Rick Wiener | | | |
| 47 :03x05 - Haylias (Nov/11/2007) | | Hayley, brainwashed by Stan in order to make her a sleeper CIA agent, is activated and ordered to marry the son of a senator, who happens to be gay. Roger and Steve create a detective agency, mimicking the 70's TV series they watch. | | Guest Stars: Niecy Nash as Angel, André Sogliuzzo as Dill, Patrick Stewart as Avery Bullock, Fred Tatasciore as Bill Elliot / Senator, Martin Mull as Father Donavan, Rolando Molina as Mex, Karen Maruyama as Woman, Ying Liu as Female Announcer, Jeff Fischer (1) as Jeff Fischer, John Ennis as Tex | Director: Brent Woods Writer: David Zuckerman | | | |
| 48 :03x06 - 42-Year-Old Virgin (Nov/18/2007) | | Throughout his time as a CIA veteran, Stan has never killed anyone, causing three of his friends to help him hunt down his first kill. | | | | | | |
| 50 :03x08 - The Most Adequate Christmas Ever (Dec/16/2007) | | Stan wreaks havoc in heaven and in limbo after dying while in search for the perfect Christmas tree. He hopes to make a return to Earth to save his family, who he had put in danger of freezing to death by dragging them along on his quest. | | Guest Stars: Shawn Michael Howard (1) as Homeless Man, Jane Lynch as Ob/Gyn Doctor, Peter MacKenzie (1) as Various, Matt McKenna as Various, J. K. Simmons as The Judge, Steve Hely as Jim Henson, Erik Durbin as Various, John DiMaggio as Bouncer / The Dove, Chris Diamantopoulos as Various, Mike Barker (1) as Jesus, Tim Dadabo as Waiter, Paget Brewster as Michelle | Director: John Aoshima Writer: Jim Bernstein | | | |
| 51 :03x09 - Frannie 911 (Jan/06/2008) | | Nasty Roger is given an ultimatum from Stan and Francine to start being nice or leave. Meanwhile, Klaus and Hayley play a game of truth or dare, and Steve decides he wants to become a backup dancer. | | Guest Stars: Patton Oswalt as Ticket Taker | Director: Joe Daniello Writer: Brian Boyle | | Songs: Little River Band -- “Cool Change” | | | |
| 52 :03x10 - Tearjerker (Jan/13/2008) | | In this standalone James Bond parody, Stan plays a 007-type secret agent sent to stop the diabolical Tearjerker (played by Roger) from fulfilling his master plan to create a movie so sad that it causes anyone who watches it to cry themselves to death. | | Guest Stars: Enn Reitel as British Spy, André Sogliuzzo as Mr. Goodwin, Patrick Stewart as B, Jill Talley as Cocktail Waitress, Flight Attendant, Oscar's Mother, Charles White as Professor, Ivana Milicevic as Austrian Woman, Matt McKenna as Mr. Stashwick, Don LaFontaine as Himself, David Hemingson as Bartender, Seth Green as Matthew McConaughey, Erik Durbin as Randy / Counter Man, Warren Derosa as Unknown, Mike Barker (1) as Mannie | Director: Albert Calleros Writer: Jonathan Fener | | Songs: Night Ranger -- Rock In America (You Can Still) | | | | | | |
| 54 :03x12 - Widowmaker (Feb/17/2008) | | Stan spends time with 'pretend psychiatrist' Roger, when Francine wants him to open up more emotionally, but ends up being more touchy-feely than she can handle. Meanwhile, Steve vows revenge when Haley kills the queen bee from his science project. | | Guest Stars: Sandra Bernhard as Woman on Bike, Christen Sussin as Julie | Director: Bob Bowen Writer: Keith Heisler | | | |
| 55 :03x13 - Red October Sky (Apr/27/2008) | Stan goes in search of a former KGB agent, Sergei, but he's shocked to find the man is his new next door neighbor. When Sergei starts helping Steve build a rocket for class, Stan realizes the boy has turned into a communist. Meanwhile, Roger and Klaus head to France for a little R&R but their trip takes a turn for the worse when Klaus gets busted for smuggling drugs back into the U.S.
Source: Fox | | Guest Stars: Penelope Fortier as Airport Announcer, Eddie Kaye Thomas (1) as Barry, Daisuke Suzuki (1) as Toshi, Patrick Stewart as Avery Bullock, Kevin Michael Richardson (2) as Principal Lewis, Steve Hely as Jim Henson, Travis Bowe as Various, Curtis Armstrong as Schmuley “Snot” Lonstein | Director: Caleb Meurer Writer: Steve Hely | | | |
| 56 :03x14 - Office Spaceman (May/04/2008) | | The CIA to initiate an Alien Task Force after Roger releases photos of himself to the media for money. Tension at home begins when in a twist of fate, Roger is put in charge of the task force in disguise, making him Stan's boss. Meanwhile, Francine deals with being left-handed and Roger frames Stan in order to keep his identity a secret. | | Guest Stars: Raven-Symone as Katie | | | |
| 57 :03x15 - Stanny Slickers II: The Legend of Ollie's Gold (May/11/2008) | Officially declared dead after an accident with a pudding truck, Stan comes back to life and realizes his sweet dream of leaving a legacy on the world. After digging through his past, Stan begins to excavate his home in search of Ollie North's Contra'-band buried treasure. As the search for gold goes North,' life at home begins to head south as Hayley turns to body piercing, Steve creates a robotic girlfriend and Roger files for sexual harassment. Will Stan's gold lust propel him to fame or will he forgo it to save and treasure his family?
Source: FOX | | Guest Stars: Skyler Gisondo as Matty Moyer, Shawn Michael Howard (1) as Various, Matt McKenna as Various, Raven-Symone as Woman (in Stan's dream future Smithsonian exhibit), Richard Gant as Firefighter, Erik Durbin as Langley Falls Town Geologist, Chris Diamantopoulos as Hanson Foam Man, Paget Brewster as Michelle, Travis Bowe as Paramedic, Mike Barker (1) as Terry Bates | Director: Pam Cooke Writer: Erik Sommers | | Songs: 2 Live Crew -- Me So Horny | | | |
| 58 :03x16 - Spring Break-Up (May/18/2008) | | Unappreciated by Stan, Francine visits her parents over spring break. Yet the family is unaware of Roger's own plans to become the 'King of Spring Break,' as he invites college coeds to come party at their revamped home. While Steve tries to lose his virginity to the luscious Carmen Selectra, Stan's tastes lead him to Jessica, his new Spring Break buddy. Stan must now decide whether the booze cruise with Jessica is better than married life. | | | | Season 4 |
| 59 :04x01 - 1600 Candles (Sep/28/2008) | Steve announces that he's going through puberty when he gets his first pubic hair, but Francine and Stan (who are still traumatized from when Hayley went through puberty) are less than thrilled and use a serum to rapidly age Steve. Meanwhile, Roger prepares for his birthday after everyone else forgets about it.
Source: Fox | | Guest Stars: Mitzi McCall as Woman in Diner, Erik Durbin as Various, Mike Barker (1) as Various, Allen Alvarado as Aiden, Elizabeth Banks as Lisa Silver, Matt E. Mixer as Various, Ellen Albertini Dow as Woman on Bus, Laura McCreary as Various | Director: Caleb Meurer Writer: Kenny Schwartz, Rick Wiener | | Songs: The Thompson Twins -- If You Were Here | | | | | | | | | | | | |
| 63 :04x05 - Escape from Pearl Bailey (Nov/09/2008) | | Steve devises a plan of revenge after his girlfriend Debbie loses the presidential election at school. But his scheme backfires. | | Guest Stars: Scott Lowell as Barney, Matt McKenna as Various, Matt E. Mixer as Various, Peter Paige as Evan, Kevin Michael Richardson (2) as Principal Lewis, Amanda Seyfried as Amy, Daisuke Suzuki (1) as Toshi, Eddie Kaye Thomas (1) as Barry, Brian Lally as Amy's Father, Michelle Krusiec as Nurse / Hooker, Curtis Armstrong as Schmuley “Snot” Lonstein, Elizabeth Banks as Lisa Silver, Mike Barker (1) as Biology Teacher, Lizzy Caplan as Debbie, Stacey Dash as Janet Lewis, Erik Durbin as Various, Tim Gunn as Himself (The Pricey Hollywood Buffalo Groomer), Gregory Jbara as Plastic Surgeon | Director: Bob Bowen Writer: Dan Vebber | | Songs: Joy Division -- Love Will Tear Us Apart | | | |
| 64 :04x06 - Pulling Double Booty (Nov/16/2008) | Jeff breaks up w/ Haley and she soon falls for Stan's body double from the CIA.
Things take a bizarre twist when the double begins hitting on Francine.
Meanwhile Steve & Roger embark their 'Summer of Exotic Adventure'. | | Guest Stars: Steve Hely as Frank, Patrick Stewart as Avery Bullock, John Viener as Various, Gedde Watanabe as Chick Sorting Manager, Keone Young as Chick Salesman, Josh Gad as Art, Jeff Fischer (1) as Jeff Fischer, Jonathan Fener as Various, Mike Barker (1) as Sanders, Leslie Bega as Ms. Anderson, Chris Diamantopoulos as Sander's Double, Michael Dunn (2) as Guard, Erik Durbin as Various | Director: John Aoshima Writer: Brian Boyle | | | |
| 65 :04x07 - Phantom of the Telethon (Nov/30/2008) | | Roger suggests Stan hold a telethon to raise funds after the CIA's budget cut, but when Stan takes all the credit for the idea, Roger tries to sabotage it. | | | |
| 66 :04x08 - Chimdale (Jan/25/2009) | | After Steve is diagnosed with scoliosis and prescribed to wear a back brace, Stan makes Steve see that there's no shame in being different--by revealing that his black hair is actually a wig. Meanwhile, Roger takes Francine and Hayley to a spa called Chimdale. | | Guest Stars: Forest Whitaker as Turlington | | | |
| 67 :04x09 - Stan Time (Feb/08/2009) | | Stan is ecstatic when a co-worker gives him pills that allow him to stay up all night but feel like he slept for eight hours. | | | |
| 68 :04x10 - Family Affair (Feb/15/2009) | | The Smith family finds out that Roger is cheating on them with multiple families. Meanwhile, Klaus buys tickets to a Thunderbirds concert for the family and doesn't recieve any ticketmaster money from them. | | | |
| 69 :04x11 - Live and Let Fry (Mar/01/2009) | | When Langley Falls bans trans fats in foods, Stan begins frequenting a store located outside of town that still sells trans fat-laden foods and smuggles the contraband back to Langley Falls--with help from Steve. | | Guest Stars: Forest Whitaker as Turlington | | | |
| 70 :04x12 - Roy Rogers McFreely (Mar/08/2009) | | When Stan forgets to pick up grenadine at the grocery store, Roger goes ballistic and vows to get him back by taking over a project close to his heart – the Homeowner’s Association. | Director: Bob Bowen Writer: Brian Boyle | | | | | | |
| 72 :04x14 - Bar Mitzvah Shuffle (Mar/22/2009) | | Steve and his buddies get back at a snobby Jewish kid (who flirted with Steve's on-again, off-again girlfriend, Debbie) by crashing his bar mitzvah. Meanwhile, Stan loses his cell phone at the movies. | | Guest Stars: Seth Green as Etan Cohen | | | |
| 73 :04x15 - Wife Insurance (Mar/29/2009) | | Francine fears that Stan may be dead after he gets kidnapped in Colombia. Meanwhile, Steve and Roger reprise their roles as "Wheels and the Legman". | | Guest Stars: Patrick Stewart as Avery Bullock | | | |
| 74 :04x16 - Delorean Story-An (Apr/19/2009) | | Stan and Steve go on a road trip to get the doors to Stan's dream car (a DeLorean DMC-12, as seen in the Back to the Future movies). Meanwhile, Francine, Hayley, and Roger try to come up with ideas for an interesting adventure. | | | |
| 75 :04x17 - Every Which Way But Lose (Apr/26/2009) | | Steve makes an attempt to please Stan by joining the football team, who then becomes involved and takes over as coach and kicks Steve off the team for not being good enough. Meanwhile, Francine and Hayley both vie for a blue ribbon at the county fair. | | | |
| 76 :04x18 - Weiner of Our Discontent (May/03/2009) | | Roger declares that he was sent to Earth to decide whether or not the human race can continue, but Stan doesn't believe him...until Roger takes him to a storage center containing the spaceship Roger was sent in (and a note, explaining Roger's true purpose on Earth). Meanwhile, Toshi challenges Steve to a hot dog eating contest after Steve makes yet another insensitive joke about his Japanese friend. | | Guest Stars: Matt McKenna as Disability Check Dan, Bob Odenkirk as Third Worker, Sandra Oh as Toshi's Mother, Daisuke Suzuki (1) as Toshi, Eddie Kaye Thomas (1) as Barry, Elisa Richter as Barista, Laura McCreary as Stewardess, John Lehr as Animal Control Guy #2, Curtis Armstrong as Schmuley “Snot” Lonstein, Mike Barker (1) as Various, Grey Delisle as Akiko, Erik Durbin as Gerald, Jonathan Fener as Airline Steward, Glenn Howerton as Animal Control Guy #1 | Director: Tim Parsons Writer: Laura McCreary | | | |
| 77 :04x19 - Daddy Queerest (May/10/2009) | | Francine and Stan decide to swap their spouses with Terry and Greg as Terry's father arrives for a visit. He is a former football player who has no idea his son is gay. Meanwhile, Steve goes on a drunken bender. | | | | | | | Season 5 |
| 79 :05x01 - In Country...Club (Sep/27/2009) | Steve is chosen to sing the National Anthem for the Langley Falls Veterans' Day, but Stan does not think he's ready for it. In order to improve Steve's vocal talents, he lets Steve experience real war and really understand the US military prowess. However, things don't go right when Roger gets involved and Steve goes crazy.
Source: FOX | | Guest Stars: Greg Grunberg as Various, Jonathan Fener as Various, Erik Durbin as Various, Kevin Michael Richardson (2) as Principal Lewis, Estelle Harris as Various, David Koechner as Dick, Matt McKenna as Various, Robert Patrick as "Mind Quad" Agent, André Sogliuzzo as Various, Marissa Jaret Winokur as Various, Randy Spears as Various | Directors: Josue Cervantes, Albert Calleros Writer: Judah Miller, Murray Miller | | Songs: Creedence Clearwater Revival -- Fortunate Son, Jefferson Airplane -- White Rabbit, (Unknown artist) -- Adagio for Strings | | | |
| 80 :05x02 - Moon Over Isla Island (Oct/04/2009) | In order to get a promotion at work in CIA, Stan has no choice but convince the dictator of Isla Island that he should sign a treaty. But when Stan meets the general and has an unfortunate mishap by killing him, Roger is forced to pose as the leader. However, Roger really takes a shine to his position and goes nuts with it, resulting in Stan having to save him from creating a revolution. Meanwhile, Steve and Snot compete in a crazy competition to find out who can get farther with the other's mom.
Source: FOX | | Guest Stars: Ricardo Montalban as General Pequeno | Director: Rodney Clouden Writer: Jonathan Fener | | Songs: Bananarama -- Venus | | | |
| 81 :05x03 - Home Adrone (Oct/11/2009) | The family, except for Steve, leaves to take a look at a potential college for Hayley. While they're gone, Steve's friends realize he is home alone, and encourages him to break the rules. What they believe to be a video game is actually a military drone and as they try to hide their tracks, Roger has a meltdown that prevents the family from leaving after all. Stan later returns to the house only to find out that Steve has messed up and now he needs to rescue the family from a high-level security situation.
Source: FOX | | Guest Stars: J. B. Smoove as Unknown, Erik Sommers as Various, Daisuke Suzuki (1) as Toshi, Fred Tatasciore as Various, Eddie Kaye Thomas (1) as Barry, Jill Talley as Various, Paige King as Airline Employee, Dave Bitran as Unknown, Rick Podell as Various, Bob Odenkirk as Various, Curtis Armstrong as Schmuley “Snot” Lonstein, Alex Cuthbertson as Kid, Erik Durbin as Various, Jonathan Fener as Airline Steward, Dan Fogler as Unknown, Chris Isaak (1) as Unknown, Scott Lowell as Various, Murray Miller as Unknown | Director: Brent Woods Writer: Erik Sommers | | | |
| 82 :05x04 - Brains, Brains, and Automobiles (Oct/18/2009) | After Hayley and Steve leave for their summer vacations, Francine looks forward for the time she will have alone with Stan. However, Roger is living in the attic fighting for all the attention he can get. This results in Francine taking her time to teach Roger to be self-sufficient, which finally makes him get a place to live. But Stan has a fear that he will bore Francine, believing she will leave him, so he comes up with a plan to get Roger back into the house. Meanwhile, Steve's camp doesn't go as planned when a prank doesn't quite have the effect it was supposed to give.
Source: FOX | | Guest Stars: Patrick Stewart as Avery Bullock, Victor Raider-Wexler as Ray, Matt E. Mixer as Various, Scott Lawrence as Various, Erik Durbin as Various, Clancy Brown as Various, Mike Barker (1) as Various, Curtis Armstrong as Schmuley “Snot” Lonstein | Directors: Pam Cooke, Jansen Yee Writer: Keith Heisler | | | |
| 83 :05x05 - Man in the Moonbounce (Nov/08/2009) | | When Stan has a run-in with local law enforcement, the father-son roles are reversed, forcing Steve to become the man of the house. | | Guest Stars: Rob Riggle as Harvey Lisle, Erik Sommers as Rivers, Daisuke Suzuki (1) as Toshi, Fred Tatasciore as Warden, Eddie Kaye Thomas (1) as Barry, Harve Presnell as Judge, Matt McKenna as Bailliff, Laura McCreary as Unknown, Curtis Armstrong as Schmuley “Snot” Lonstein, Alex Cuthbertson as Kid, Eric Edwards as Henry Callaway, Jonathan Fener as Inmate, J. Lee as Wesley Snipes | Director: Tim Parsons Writer: Brian Boyle | | Songs: Diana Ross -- I'm Coming Out, (Unknown artist) -- The Tra La La Song (One Banana, Two Banana) | | | | | | |
| 85 :05x07 - My Morning Straitjacket (Nov/22/2009) | | After attending a My Morning Jacket concert with Hayley, Stan becomes obsessed with their music & decides to become a groupie. | | Guest Stars: Patrick Stewart as Avery Bullock, Laura McCreary as Various, Nahnatchka Khan (1) as Various, Matt Fusfeld as Various, John DiMaggio as Various, Alex Cuthbertson as Kid, Mike Barker (1) as Various, Zach Galifianakis as Norman, My Morning Jacket as Themselves, Dizzy Galette as Various | Director: Chris Bennett Writer: Mike Barker (1) | | Songs: My Morning Jacket -- Highly Suspicious, My Morning Jacket -- I'm Amazed, My Morning Jacket -- Phone Goes West, My Morning Jacket -- Remnants, My Morning Jacket -- Touch Me I'm Going to Scream Pt. 2, My Morning Jacket -- Wordless Chorus | | | |
| 86 :05x08 - G-String Circus (Nov/29/2009) | Upset that Hayley no longer wants his advice, Stan decides to prove that she is missing out on his sage counseling.
After meeting a stripper on an important CIA mission, Stan takes it upon himself to improve her life and show Hayley that his advice works.
However, when he opens a new business, hoping to prove Hayley wrong, he finds himself dancing for cash to cover up his failures | | Guest Stars: Rob Riggle as Unknown, Erik Sommers as Various, Patrick Stewart as Avery Bullock, Daisuke Suzuki (1) as Toshi, Timothy Taule as Unknown, Eddie Kaye Thomas (1) as Barry, Kenyetta Lethridge as Unknown, Jim Rash as Unknown, Peter Paige as Bouncer, Curtis Armstrong as Schmuley “Snot” Lonstein, Mike Barker (1) as Various, Kat Dennings as Tanquarei, Erik Durbin as Various, Donald Faison as Dr. Christopher Turk, Ari Graynor as Unknown, Matt E. Mixer as Various | Director: Bob Bowen Writer: Erik Durbin | | Songs: Tone Loc -- Funky Cold Medina, Rob Base and DJ E-Z Rock -- It Takes Two | | | |
| 87 :05x09 - Rapture's Delight (Dec/13/2009) | When the Smith family goes to church on Christmas Day, Stan is furious when he can't get a good seat.
While Francine tries to ease his frustration, a moment of divine intervention occurs. | | Guest Stars: Don Tai as Qui Lo, Andy Samberg as Unknown, Martin Mull as Father Donavan, Murray Miller as Unknown, Matt McKenna as Unknown, Tom Kenny (1) as Unknown, Skyler Gisondo as Unknown, Will Forte as Antichrist, Paget Brewster as Unknown, Mike Barker (1) as Terry Bates | Director: Joe Daniello Writer: Matt McKenna, Chris McKenna (2) | | | |
| 88 :05x10 - Don't Look a Smith Horse in the Mouth (Jan/03/2010) | When Francine demands that Stan get rid of his gas-guzzling SUV because it's draining the family of money, he hatches a plan with Roger at the local horse track to avoid giving up his ride.
Meanwhile, it's up to Steve and his friends to help out an old friend. | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |
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